TARP Oversight Panel Overlooks Underpants Gnomes Theory
Today a congressional oversight panel is releasing a report criticizing the Treasury's management of TARP, the Troubled Asset Relief Program (With a Heart of Gold).
Man, I think some people just like to hear themselves complain…
"The panel's initial concerns about the [Troubled Asset Relief Program] have only grown, exacerbated by the shifting explanations of its purposes and the tools used by Treasury," said the draft report, which found that the department has "not yet explained its strategy" for stabilizing the financial markets.
Sure it has. The strategy is a variation on the famous underpants gnomes theory of markets, which states:
1. Give failing banks money
2. ?
3. Financial markets are stabilized.
Clear as day.
Meanwhile, Treasury Assistant Secretary Neel Kashkari, who's in charge of the TARP, explained that Treasury is still busy handing out sacks of money, so everyone should just settle down…
Mr. Kashkari, in a speech in Washington, noted that the Treasury still has roughly $75 billion to distribute to banks as part of its $250 billion capital-injection program. "This capital needs to get into the system before it can have the desired effect," he said.
Like the man says:
1. Capital gets into the system
2. ?
3. Desired effect.
Really, it's so simple, a cartoon child could understand it.
RSS
It's standard US Gov operating proceedure…
There is a problem, through cash at it until it is covered up, problem solved…
I just want to say that the first problem here, as I see it, is that the man put in charge of giving the money away, but not in charge of knowing where it's going, has a name that sounds like Cash and Carry.
The whole thing is just so unbelievable, almost given up caring about it.
I think it's more along the "Rebuilding Iraq Business Model."
1. There is a problem.
2. We need big sacks of cash to solve the problem.
3. I give the cash to my friends in business.
4. My friends get rich:
5. I secure a future job.
6. Money disappears.
7. Clearly state, "the problem is worse than we thought. We need more sacks of cash to solve the problem.
8. Go to step 3.
I don't see why Congress is criticizing this program. When my Mom complained about my Dad's boat rusting in the yard, he just put a TARP over it, and she never mentioned it again. Although I guess it wasn't a $300 billion boat…