Obam-Ailments to Watch Out For: Cerebral Policy

Cerebral Policy (sə-ˈrē-brəl ˈpä-lə-sē)

Cerebral Policy is a brain disorder wherein the functions directly related to an interest in politics slowly shut down.

The primary cause of the disorder is President-elect Barack Obama's eloquently worded press conferences and carefully calibrated fireside chats. After years of simplistic political language, the average American mind can no longer process complex policies from their elected officials.

As "Yes We Can" gives way to "I want to be realistic here, not everything that we talked about during the campaign are we going to be able to do on the pace that we had hoped," medical professionals fear the worst.

Symptoms include increased apathy and forgetfulness as related to politics. In fact, a new medical study reveals most victims have already forgotten Joe Biden exists. When informed of this grave medical crisis, Obama responded, "Who's Joe Biden?"

There is no cure for Cerebral Policy, although medical scientists believe the victims are in no pain whatsoever, as they are plenty entertained by Rock of Love and Real World: Brooklyn.