Drunk Finance Minister Gives Japan a Recession-Sized Hangover

Ever have a sneaking suspicion that the people running your nation's economy are heavily medicated, or drunk, or some combination thereof? You are not alone! Allow me to introduce now-former Japanese finance minister Shoichi Nakagawa, star of the recent G7 cocktail hour meeting in Rome…

During a press conference, Mr Nakagawa slurred, yawned, lost his train of thought and appeared to nod off during a reporter's question. At one point, he called the G7 "the G20" and could not recall Japan's present rate of interest. Arriving home yesterday to find his feet in the fire on the day that Japan announced its worst economic figures since the mid-1970s oil crisis, a contrite Mr Nakagawa, 55, blamed a heavy cold.

"I took a larger-than-usual portion of cold medicine," he said. "I am sorry for my behaviour." A glass of wine on the 13-hour flight to Rome had aggravated his condition, he claimed, in an attempt to head off calls for his resignation.

Nakagawa's attempts failed today, as he has resigned in a flurry of international mockery, and the reason this is of interest to Americans — aside from the fact that the world's second-largest economy was being supervised by a man who gets blitzed on Tylenol — is that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is in Japan right now, meeting with Prime Minister Taro Aso to discuss things like the global (hic) financial crisis.

A delicate situation, to be sure: l'affaire Nakagawa has been a major embarrassment for the already unpopular PM. Perhaps Madam Secretary can break the ice by telling Aso how we'd handle a finance minister whose irresponsible behavior led to public outcry, here in the United States.

Why, we'd write over a check for $1 trillion without asking questions.