Michele Bachmann Will Teach Your Peeps to Speak "Urban"
No one understands the importance of re-inventing the GOP as a 21st Century "urban-suburban hip-hop" joint better than Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann. Just the other day, she taught the Conservative Political Action Conference about the proud African American experience by bestowing Michael Steele with the following honor, "You be da man."
Well, now she's speeding up the process by releasing a glossary of some of her favorite "urban-suburban hip-hop setting" buzzwords. The best part is, we got a hold of this totally for realzees list, for shiznit, etc…
Michele Bachmann's Guide to Ebonics
Aiight (ä ' īt) – A state of being where a Republican majority is in control.
Use in Sentence: We're all fully aware things seem bad for the Republican Party, but if we can condescendingly attempt to appeal to a younger urban community, things will be aiight once again.Bling Bling (bliŋ-ˌbliŋ) – Gifts received from unscrupulous lobbyists.
Use in a Sentence: Thanks to the energy industry, we will never run out of Earth's greatest natural resource, bling bling.Crib (krib) – Any one of the multiple homes we all own.
Use in a Sentence: As compassionate Republicans, we must make sure to cover our tracks when underpaying illegal immigrants to clean up our multiple cribs.Dope (dōp) – a dangerous drug that should never be decriminalized or used medicinally.
Use in a Sentence: Unlike prescription painkillers, dope is for dupes.Homey (hō-mē) – An urban constituent brainwashed by centuries of loyalty to the Democratic Party.
Use in a Sentence: Homeys can only be swayed to Republican ideals by our funky fresh use of slang.Jack (jak) – To steal what is rightfully yours anyway.
Use in a Sentence: After eight years of Republican control, the one time we decide to not jack any elections was the one time we all lost.No Homo (nō hō-,mō) – A sound policy on gay rights.
Use in a Sentence: Our political stance on marriage is "no homo."Old School (ōld skül) – Rejecting any new developments or ideas in favor of aging traditions.
Use in a Sentence: We shall make every attempt to run this country in an old school fashion.O.G. (ō ˈjē) – One who is completely old school in their beliefs.
Use in a Sentence: I swear, Ronald Reagan was an O.G., heart and soul, homey.
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Michele Bachmann has got to go! Democratic candidate Dr. Maureen Reed is running against her and she is the ticket to beating Bachmann's craziness! You can learn more about Maureen, and donate, at:
http://maureenreedforcongress.com/
and
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maureen_Reed
The last I heard, this was still a free country, filled with people from all over the world who are free to speak in their own language or dialect (so-called "ebonics" is a set of dialects, after all. Something that is common in every society on the face of the earth.) Who died and made you the language police?
i believe it is time for the people of the united states to act they have had some sort of an education and stop this foolishness and down right degrading act that is taking place amongst the country. we speak english in this country, not ebonics, not spanish, french or german, and it actually makes me quite sad when i hear such coming from americans mouths. the thing that i really cannot understand is why is it when you call most organizations these days you get the recorded voice telling you to press one to continue in english. i could understand something like this if i was on a public phone in somewhere in mexico outside of some bar standing on the corner.
The G.O.P. has been representing my hood for seven years and I haven't had a better time since I saw Barry Manilow in '87, just after I got a blowjob from my best friend Randy on prom night.
Hilarious!!!