Hey, kids, gather round for Ben Bernanke's Econopocalypse Family Fun Show, coming to you live from Washington, DC!

When we last saw Ben, he was pulling a walrus on the Senate Budget Committee, so let's find out what he has up his sleeve today…

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, speaking at the Council on Foreign Relations right now, said that broad overhaul of the financial regulatory system is necessary to prevent another crisis from happening.

Bernanke said that system-wide oversight, something known as "macroprudential regulation" is required, and that the Fed could be the home for that, or it could be another agency.

Wink wink nudge nudge, it could be the Fed… just sayin'. Cough. Eyelash flutter. Seductive stroking of beard. (Unless it turns out that overseeing the entire financial system is a real pain in the ass. In which case, eh, foist that off on Geithner too.)

Fascinating, yes, but none of this addresses the one question that most Americans want answered right now. The Council on Foreign Relations asked Ben Bernanke this question, this one question, and… oh my God! He did it again!

Asked when the recession will end, Bernanke said: "My forecasting ability on this recession has been about as good as the win-loss percentage of the Washington Nationals," referring to the baseball team that finished in last place last season.

Zing, huh, Ben? Don't forget to put that on your resume when you apply for that system-wide oversight gig.

Anyway, how about this for an answer: the recession will end when Ben Bernanke answers a direct question about the end of the recession with an actual answer about the end of the recession, or when he eats his own beard, whichever happens first.