In a recent interview with German magazine Der Spiegel, US Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano spoke about terrorist threats:

"I presume there is always a threat from terrorism. In my speech, although I did not use the word 'terrorism,' I referred to 'man-caused' disasters. That is perhaps only a nuance, but it demonstrates that we want to move away from the politics of fear toward a policy of being prepared for all risks that can occur."

Um. Really, Secretary of Defense of The Holy Fatherland From The Unclean Hordes? Who exactly is responsible for any of these future "man-made disasters?" Disasternistas? Masters of Disaster? Human Hurricanes? This is baffling, of course, serving only to confirm the cynical notion that political parties are just dueling tribes, basically mafias. Different color sweatsuits, but the same rackets.

One party's "man-made disasters" are just another party's "enhanced interrogation techniques." Thanks to the Obama Administration, the War in Iraq is now, "the Troubles in Iraq." For future reference, "food stamps" are "yummo tickets," and "taxpayer bailouts" are "loans of love."

Instead of wanton fear-mongering, Secretary Napolitano is choosing cheaply positive, politically correct sloganeering. The impulse to wrap the truth in bubble-wrap is the same impulse that drives Baby Boomers to have their children play non-competitive soccer, where everybody wins, even when they lose. Terrorists are terrorists. Putting bunny ears on a threat does not reduce its dangers.

I say we officially refer to terrorism as "Sauron’s Great Eye." And so a speculative sentence reads: "I presume there is always a threat from Sauron’s Great Eye, perpetrated by Orcs."