Barack Obama Is Coming to Steal Your Internet
WorldNetDaily's Brad O'Leary alerts us of a real, actual issue that real, actual, non-paranoid-schizophrenics really, actually have to concern themselves with…
Gird your blogs, because if liberals in Congress get their way, President Obama will have sole discretionary authority to shut down the Internet or critical parts of the Internet should he feel his presidency is being tested. Worse, under the guise of cybersecurity, Obama will essentially be granted the power to destroy free speech on the Web.
On April 1 of this year, Sens. Rockefeller, Snowe, Bayh and Nelson introduced bills S. 773 and S.778, collectively called the Cybersecurity Act, which would give President Obama dictatorial power over the Internet during a time of national crisis or emergency.
Don't get me wrong: Concerns that President Obama and liberal congresspeople are plotting to declare martial law over the entirety of the Internet and start dictating what right-wing bloggers are allowed to say is in no way a completely-invented issue that borders on the senseless ravings of a sanatarium resident.
It's just that I'm more concerned with the high-levels of Goblin that scientists have been discovering in our drinking water.




Yeah, those "liberal" senators Rockefeller, Snowe, Bayh and Nelson. God, they're so fucking liberal it makes me sick. West Virginia needs to fire that liberal Rockefeller
Never mind that this would never actually work. The internet tubes were specifically designed to make this sort of thing virtually impossible. I mean, how long did it take to track down all the Heaven’s Gate mirror websites after they killed themselves? Never. That website is still up and running.
Oh, you guys, you're so cute when you try to understand the Intartoobs.
WND is about half a step up the "we r srs jurnalists, news r srs bsns" ladder from the Weekly World News. The name even brings to mind lovely sheaves of black-and-white newsprint with a Page 5 Girl inside and Bat Boy on the cover.
NOOOOOO THEY BE STEALIN MY INTERNETS!