Donald Rumsfeld's Top Secret Photoshop Skills
GQ magazine — the most journalistic integrity-y publication of journalist integrity – released images of the covers of the top secret intelligence briefings concerning the Iraq War produced by Donald Rumsfeld for former president (sounds nice to say "former president") George W. Bush.
The images all consisted of images of soldiers accompanied by a Biblical quote, casting further doubt to the previous administrations religious intentions with the Iraq War. In Rumsfeld's defense, putting color pictures on the briefings was the only way to get Bush to even look at them.
Eeek. Pretty creepy right? Well, wait till you see the intelligence briefing covers that didn't make the cut. We got our hands on some exclusive rough drafts from Rummy's old eMachine PC, and we're posting them on the site for you guys. You're welcome.
Click after the jump to see the exclusive images.
This following image was when they were considering recruiting at local elementary schools. After all, if history has taught us anything, it's that children love crusades.
The Christmas lights were supposed to be a metaphor for Iraq's intricate system, but everyone was worried that George Bush would get confused and send Saddam Hussein a fruitcake, so they ditched this next image.
Everyone at the White House loved this one, but they thought it belittled the troops to use lyrics from a Sugar Ray song. Instead, they decided to honor the troops by cutting funding for body armor.
George W. Bush insisted that flying squirrels be used in briefings whenever possible.
I see why they ditched this next one. Seems kind of ironic to use a scripture quote basically stating the way to silence people who are wrong is by doing good in your personal life rather than out and out confrontation. Especially when you're at war with another country instead of performing any real acts of charity with that war budget. Definitely see why this only made it through the rough draft stages.
Oh, oops, I was wrong. That one was actually a cover for a briefing (it's REAL!). My bad.
This next one seems kind of weird. How did that quote get in there?
Oops, that was just a typo. This is what they really meant.
RSS
"It is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. 1 Peter 2:15"
And so it is, ye faith filled Americans, in having fucked up every frigging thing everywhere on the whole fucking planet, that for as long as he has kidneys, Rush Limbaugh will never again shut the fuck up!
God
I don't have a problem with religious leaflets. I'm just upset Rumsfeld is an anti-Semetic jerk and didn't give us Jews props for the Ten Plagues he "lifted" from us.
I wish I could come up with something witty. This just made me sad that these men where the leaders of our country for eight years. I guess all the quotes that come from the new testament are too liberal.
For me, flying squirrels always mean "Let's go to war!"