Hey, look! Barney Frank has just introduced a crazy new bill that his fellow Democrats can cower from like a bunch cowardly cowards…

Frank has filed a bill that would eliminate federal penalties for personal possession of less than 100 grams of marijuana. It would also make the penalty for using marijuana in public just $100.

"I think John Stuart Mill had it right in the 1850s," said Congressman Frank, "when he argued that individuals should have the right to do what they want in private, so long as they don't hurt anyone else. It's a matter of personal liberty.

"Moreover, our courts are already stressed and our prisons are over-crowded. We don't need to spend our scarce resources prosecuting people who are doing no harm to others."

I'm not sure who this John Stuart Mill person is, but he's got three names, and that makes me dislike him for some reason. Seems intellectually, doesn't it?

Besides that, this concept of personal liberty just sounds wrong and un-American. I mean, really, where does it end? It's a slippery slope. One minute people are deciding that they'd like to smoke a certain kind of cigarette while they watch Big Trouble in Little China, and the next they're having sex with a circus elephant while an albino motorcycle enthusiast injects slime mold into their eye sockets.

It can happen! Mark my words!