The House of Representatives is expected to vote today on a massive climate change bill, which according to reports runs 1,200 (recycled??) pages and calls for limits on greenhouse gas emissions, the establishment of a pollution cap-and-trade system and incentives for expanding green energy industries.

Obviously this thing has the support of the Obama administration, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, Al Gore and other tree-huggin', polar-bear-snugglin' types, and just as obviously, House Republicans are trying to prove that "cap-and-trade" is just Socialist for "cap-and-tax," with varying degrees of success, depending on your feelings about math.

But let's focus on what's really important here. How will this legislation affect your Jacuzzi?

The Democrat-led House pressed Thursday for enough votes to pass landmark legislation that would combat global warming by forcing U.S. companies to reduce their carbon-dioxide emissions, expanding expensive renewable-energy sources and trimming consumers' choices on new light bulbs and hot tubs.

Which really sucks, because nothing takes the edge off global warming and oil wars like a nice long soak.