Good news, everybody! It looks like the good people of Maine just might stem this terrible flow of people who love each other pledging themselves to one another in the eyes of the law.

Whew! That was too close. I was starting to worry that my life might not be affected in the slightest possible way…

Gay marriage foes in Maine say they've collected enough signatures to stop the new law from going into effect and to force a statewide vote in November.

Mark Mutty from the Stand for Marriage Maine coalition says it took only four weeks to gather the more than 55,087 signatures necessary to put gay marriage to a vote. But he says signature gathering will continue to ensure there's more than enough petitions.

Good thinking! You don't wanna run the risk of accidentally running out of hate. That'd be embarrassing.

In all seriousness, though. I'd like to take a moment to speak out in defense of the 55,087 citizens of Maine who have already seen fit to sign this petition. Nobody ever says anything nice about the people who oppose gay marriage. I think someone should.

A lot of people might call them hateful bigots or unpatriotic homophobes. But, you know what? I'll bet that a good number of them are pretty good hockey players.