OMG! Have you heard this shocking bit of news-like wording about something that Sarah Palin is probably not doing according to Reuters and a bunch of other news sources?

The Anchorage Daily News in Alaska is reporting, and The Providence Journal is repeating, a tantalizing rumor that Sarah Palin is going to move to Rhode Island. No one has confirmed that (including us, and we tried). Even the Anchorage paper which started the speculation says it's probably not true.

But frankly, Sarah Palin — the former Republican vice presidential candidate and Alaska governor — is a queen of surprises so one never knows…

Got that? Sarah Palin is probably not moving to Rhode Island, but maybe she is because she's unpredictable and can possibly do a lot of stuff. Run with it! Put it on Page One. Use a huge banner headline: SARAH PALIN TO MAYBE DO STUFF! It'll sell a quazillion papers and singlehandedly rescue journalism from the cusp of oblivion!

But, hey, don't stop there! Let's report on some other stuff that crazy, unpredictable Sarah Palin could possibly do in the realm of things that are not completely out of the question.

Hold on! Stop the presses! It has just come to my attention that Sarah Palin might one day decide to apply for a job at NASA and become the first former governor in space. Holy wow! What a crazy thing for Sarah Palin to maybe do! I hope that doesn't get in the way of her genetics research that, for all we know, she's been doing in her possible long-term quest to engineer a real life Sasquatch.

Can you believe all this important news I'm breaking here? Somebody get me a Pulitzer Prize!