The Borowitz Report reports…

Starting this week, Mr. Obama will host a series of town halls to roll out new features of his health care plan which will extend health care coverage to "all idiotic Americans," in the words of one White House source.

"We clearly underestimated the role that doofuses and dimwits were going to play in this debate," the source said. "We want to send them the message that this plan will give them coverage – but we need to come up with a one-syllable word for 'coverage.'"

How about "covr'ge"? It's also easier to spell and doesn't have nearly as much nuance.