Imagine my excitement when I spotted the words "Reaganesque zingers" scrolling through the ol' RSS feed — why, it felt like the Fourth of July and my birthday combined, with ice cream cake and fireworks and that hovercraft I've been wanting, only more patriotic (if such a thing were even possible)! Is there anything I love more than a good zinger delivered in the style of America's greatest president, Ronald Reagan?

Yes. I would love it more if Ronald Reagan were brought back to life so he could grace us with his zippy zingers in person. Until that technology is developed, however, Tim Pawlenty will have to do…

Republicans have been starved for leadership, so it’s exciting when a rising political star delivers a rousing address full of Reaganesque zingers.

"Our system in the United States isn’t cash for clunkers, it’s cash for flunkers. It’s a disgrace that anyone is forced to go to a bad school." The speaker was Governor Tim Pawlenty of Minnesota, who delivered his forceful remarks to GOPAC [during a GOP hobnob fest over the weekend] without notes and without a teleprompter.*

Hahahahaha, cash for flunkers! Zing, Tim! That'll show our stupid public education system, which just spends all its time in the alley outside the art room, smoking cigarettes and sulking.

Hey, I've got one: "Our system in the United States isn't cash for clunkers. It's No Child Left Behind, which prioritizes standardized test scores over actual learning, encourages schools to fudge their "improvements" to get funding, and imposes punitive sanctions on failing school districts, which helps them fail even more-unkers."

Nah, you're right. Tim's is better. That's why he gets paid to write jokes and I don't.

^{* Note for nitpickers: Yes, I know. In the picture to the right, you can see notes and a teleprompter. It was the only recentish photo I could find of Tim Seinfeld-Pawlenty at a podium. Clearly Mr. Pawlenty-Carlin has used notes and a teleprompter in the past… perhaps he just got better at hiding them, hmm?}