Michael Steele and his merry band of Republicans are going to take these concerns about health care reform that they made up lying down. Hell, no! In fact, they gonna go so far as to use a phrase that sounds patriotic-ish to beat down these straw men that they set up as hard as they can!

"Republicans want reform that should, first, do no harm, especially to our seniors," Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele writes in an opinion piece in today's Washington Post. "That is why Republicans support a Seniors' Health Care Bill of Rights, which we are introducing today, to ensure that our greatest generation will receive access to quality health care. We also believe that any health-care reform should be fully paid for, but not funded on the backs of our nation's senior citizens."

Yeah!  Give them health care service that's paid for completely by the government! But not with socialism money. Use that special seniors' rights Republican money. Boo Obama and Karl Marx! Yay, GOP and government-funded health care!

The bill of rights for seniors includes protecting Medicare from major cuts, preserving the doctor-patient relationship, banning any rationing of care or interference in end-of-life decisions, guaranteeing that seniors can keep their current coverage, and protecting current veterans' health care programs.

Wow! They really eviscerated Barack Obama's plans for the seniors. Where's his plan without the death panels? Or the six-inch thick wall of concrete that doctors would be obligated to stand behind when seeing patients? Or the Wheel of Fortune that would choose seniors' coverage from minute to minute? Huh?

And that's not even counting the other tenets in this Bill of Rights. Like the protection from flesh-eating robots that the Democrats want to unleash. And the right to not have to gay marry your dog. And freedom from having your health care provider be an alien who cures all ailments with an anal probe.

This is gonna be the bestest Seniors' Health Care Bill of Rights ever!