Rush Limbaugh Wants Barack Obama's Hands Off His Penis
I'm sorry. Did that headline traumatize you? Writing something like that about Rush Limbaugh's penis without explanation is a little bit like slapping you in the face with Rush Limbaugh's penis without explanation. Or something.
That was kind of a terrible analogy. Kind of as terrible as being forced to visualize taking Rush Limbaugh's penis into your hands and gently cutting away the soft, folded mucous membrane that covers the tip of Rush Limbaugh's penis.
Sorry again. (I'm really bad at this.)
Anyway, here's the thing: The CDC (or Centers for Disease Control and Prevention for short) is considering recommending circumcision for male infants as well as adult men as a means of reducing the spread of HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus for short). And you know what that means, right?
Oh, you don't know what that means? Well, I'll bet Ed Morrissey from Hot Air knows what that means…
Why should the CDC push circumcision at all? The government has no business being in the middle of that decision. Under ObamaCare, however, when the government starts paying more and more of the health-care tab, they will point to ambiguous cost savings down the road — in this and other cases, decades down the road — to pressure Americans into surrendering their choices now.
That's right. The upper-most point on a slippery slope that will inevitably lead to government-mandated castration!*
And since it's common knowledge that conservative media folk only think in hives, we can pretty much guess that a penis theft panic — such as one one would find in a third-world country — is the new hysterical meme going out across the right-wing talking point wire.
And, if that's the case, it's just a matter of time before…
Rush Limbaugh claimed, "It is President Obama who wants [to] mandate circumcision … And that means, if we need to save our penises from anybody, it's Obama."
Hence the title of this post.
And… scene.
.
* Your point is well-taken, Jacob. Consider that joke reworded.
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Makes me question not only the brilliance of Obama but the CDC as the foreskin on the penis has nothing to do with HIV / Aids or STD !! Prevention is the only answer !! Circumcised or not… if you have unprotected sex.. what do you expect.
This writer is a dick!
First of all so that people are informed there is a very low number of Europeans who are circumcised secondly they also have a much lower STD rate than we do in America. So if circumcision had something to do with STD's Europe would have a much higher percentage of them. They do not however, and aside from all this medical BS that is based on nothing factual regarding circumcision at all. The idea of circumcision is based on religion and we have separation of church and state in this country PERIOD. You cannot force any human being to cut off any portion of their body. FACT. It is illegal not to mention unconstitutional. American people like to have unprotected sex and until this stops I am afraid we in the medical fields will have many more people walking into the doctor with an STD. The first cases of HIV and AIDS came from individuals who were in fact circumcised.
What people fail to understand is that this area on a male is one of the most sensitive parts of the body. It is well known in the medical field that uncircumcised men are much more sensitive to touch with it there rather than with it removed. Why mess with a good thing? Many men today who were not circumcised at birth go into the doctors and state they want circumcision done based off of the "looks"….so they are basically performing plastic surgery. We dont circumcise females do we? No its considered wrong and cruel…so do us docs a favor ladies and leave your sons private areas alone. If you teach your children proper cleanliness there should be no need to remove the foreskin. teach them to clean themselves and they will follow through instead of being lazy and assuming it was supposed to clean itself.
Oh and please please please if you are going to have sex at all PROTECT YOURSELF at all times.
Here's the obvious in case I missed it in the prior rants: Rush Limbaugh doesn't have a penis.
It's a doberman – let it have its ears.
http://the-op.com/media/image2.php?oid=134&i=131&cat=6200
This article is inaccurate. Rush Limbaugh doesn't have a penis. He talks about going on sex vacations on his radio show to compensate for this.
Keep your jesus off my penis:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5YrB7TpT1Y
I favor mandatory castration of right-wing talk radio hosts.
I've gotta say something other than the pithy comment I made earlier. My cock… let's just say it's not like Shaq's. Mine just doesn't hit the drain when I shower. Plus, I'm Jewish so I'm already at a disadvantage here. Hell, my dick is so small the pubes recede in fear. My point is, maybe I would've wanted a hoodie. No one asked me. I could have used the extra inched flap or whatever it is you gentiles have.
Thank You Mr. President.
But the question should be* is Obama Sephardic**