Is Sarah Palin the Next Ted Kennedy? I'm Glad You Asked!
Now that Ted Kennedy is gone everyone wants to know who the "next" Ted Kennedy will be, both in terms of representing the state of Massachusetts in the Senate and also in terms of being a national symbol of- well, the things Ted Kennedy symbolized (lions). But there are so many people who could be the next Ted Kennedy; how can we can narrow this down?
Let's see, the next Ted Kennedy will probably live in the United States. It'll be somebody related to politics, or politics-ish things. Somebody who gives speeches, or impersonations of speeches, in public settings. Hmmm, who on earth meets all those qualifications? Oh! A writer at The American Spectator has a suggestion: "Is Sarah Palin the Next Ted Kennedy?" he asks.
Lucky for us, America, our Spectator has answered this important question! I will place the answer after the jump, so as to heighten the suspense. Click and all will be revealed…
Answer according to The American Spectator: YES. Sarah Palin is absolutely definitely positively Ted Kennedy 2.0. Here is proof, in the form of sentences…
She is, in a remarkable way, the real heir — make that heiress — to Senator Kennedy. She is charismatic, she has a decided point of view and she is a lightning rod for controversy. Just as Kennedy managed to sink a once sure-thing Supreme Court nomination with his famous Bork speech, Governor Palin has managed to explode Section 1233 of the ObamaCare House bill with her vivid description of "death panels," severely damaging the President's entire legislative priority in the process.
Whoa! That is so true. Both Ted Kennedy and Sarah Palin have said things that made people angry, and Sen. Kennedy's defense of Roe v. Wade in the Bork nomination was exactly like that time Sarah Palin attacked imaginary death panels on Facebook! Also — how's this for significant — both Sarah Palin and Ted Kennedy have last names that begin with consonants.
It's almost as if the whole thing was preordained.
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So many "red state Americans" who regarded him with suspicion if not outright hatred, will probably never even realize how much they owe Senator Kennedy. It's kind of sad that a lot of the people Kennedy worked the hardest for despised him with a passion born of decades of anti-Kennedy propaganda. Nothing was handier for a Republican running in a conservative district than the image of Bogeyman Ted in a campaign ad. It usually worked.
TEDDY KENNEDY'S GONNA GET'CHA IF YA DON'T WATCH OUT!
I wonder how these people would react if tomorrow – just for a day, mind you – every law Teddy Kennedy is responsible for were made null and void. Call it a hunch but I have a strong feeling that more people than you might suspect are going to miss him now that he's gone.
Teddy, they hardly knew ye!
I'll miss Teddy. His impact on the country he loved so much will be felt for generations. The loss his passing means to progressive politics in the United States is incalculable. We need him at this moment in history more than we ever needed him before. It's so unspeakably sad. He's gone and he's not coming back. Now he belongs to the ages.
In the good old Irish Catholic tradition, tonight I'll be drinking a toast or two (or twelve) to you, Ted. Sleep well and thanks.
http://www.tomdegan.blogspot.com
Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
I am so glad to have this figured out. Thanks for sharing. I can go back to purchasing Texas the Nation related domain names now, so that I can make a fortune when they secede later this year.
In my spare time, I sometimes interpret message board posts for friends and associates, so, in the spirit of celebration which is certainly appropriate now that we have defined who the new TK is, I would like to perform this service now, for a small part of your post.
Specifically, the sentence:
She is charismatic, she has a decided point of view and she is a lightning rod for controversy.
breaks down as follows.
She is charismatic,= "Sarah Palin looks good in a dress or a skirt.
she has a decided point of view = "She is a committed automaton-like ideologue"
and
she is a lightning rod for controversy. ="Bitch is batshit looneytunes crazy."
So now, to put it all together, "She is charismatic, she has a decided point of view and she is a lightning rod for controversy. " means "Sarah Palin looks good in a dress or a skirt, is a committed automaton-like ideologue and the Bitch is batshit looneytunes crazy."
So, kind of Teddy Lite, I guess, but buck up, compadres. She's your Transitional Teddy, anyway, right?