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September 3 at 4:29PM

Levi Johnston "Writes" "Journalism" About Sarah Palin, Because of Course

POSTED BY: Mary Phillips-Sandy

levi-johnston-red-carpetI suppose it is our duty to address the new Vanity Fair article "written" by Alaskan humping enthusiast Levi Johnston, because it promises to "turn a number of commonly held beliefs about [Sarah Palin]… upside down," and that sounds exciting, in an as-told-to kind of way.

So do we learn that Sarah Palin is, in fact, the author of several economics textbooks? Do we discover that she has been studying foreign policy, or English grammar, in a secret office under a hockey rink? Well, no. We "learn" that Sarah Palin is a hypocritical twit who spends most of her time thinking up ways to become more famous and/or wealthy, which, wow, that sure turns a lot of commonly held beliefs about the former governor the opposite of upside down.

I'm sure Levi Johnston "wrote" this "scoop" for reasons completely unrelated to any desire to become more famous and/or wealthy himself, and certainly he'll only take off his pants for Playgirl because of moral obligation, so to thank this young buck for service to his country, I've coined a new word in his honor:

john·ston (jŏn'stən) noun. A thing that holds a prominent place in American culture for reasons that seem increasingly insignificant the more prominent the thing becomes; a thing whose contribution to American culture is, largely, to prompt discussion about whether or not the thing deserves to have a place in American culture.

Feel free to use it yourself, in sentences also too — or just tell it to other people and have them write it down for you. Enjoy!

  1. I thought we already had a word for that: Joe the Plumber.

    by bearness September 3rd at 7:24PM
  2. I think it should be hyphenated then, as Hilton – Johnston, because that role has been previously occupied by Paris Hilton, who is famous largely for being famous, and the foolish things she does to remain so.

    by D September 3rd at 6:40PM
  3. YES. Very good. A+ for reading comprehension.

    Ashley Dupre, also a johnston.

    by Mary Phillips-Sandy September 3rd at 5:29PM
  4. Foreskins and the severed fingertip are tiny johnstons.

    by Cube September 3rd at 5:18PM

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