High School Football Players Cannot Scrub the Feeling of Baptism Off Them No Matter How Hard They Try
Don't you just hate it when you go out for a nice steak dinner with your teammates, you have a few too many soda pops, things get a little hazy and then — BAM! — you wake up bathed in the Blood of the Lamb? Ugh! I can't even count how many times that's happened to me…
My favorite part is the reverend's brilliant rationalization for how he and the football coach aren't guilty of date-baptizing a bunch of teenage boys…
"The twist is that a coach brought a bunch of guys here to get them baptized. And there's no truth in that at all. The coach brought a bunch of guys here to be encouraged that night, and out of the process of that, God called a bunch of people to have a relationship with them."
You see? It wasn't the coach at all? He just happened to bring the kids to a church where God happened to be hiding behind a door with a cooking oil and a Bible. It all happened so fast, no one even got a good look at Him. He maybe had a white beard and flowing robe, but, then again, He might have been all blue and had six arms.
That's why I don't go anywhere — anywhere! — without a baptism whistle around my neck. God got me once when I was too young to defend myself, and I spent the next two decades dealing with the psychological trauma. I'll never let that happen to me again.
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I admit, this story is hilarious and very awkward. But can we not make fun of rape please?
In an article I read elsewhere about this, this was described as a "voluntary" trip and that no player was "required" to go.
Did they mean "voluntary" as in "voluntary," or did they mean "voluntary" as in "we can't make you go on our Come To Jesus field trip, but don't ever expect to play a position that's not JV B-team bench warmer if you skip it"?