In case you were wondering where all the balls in the entire world went, look no further. They're in Saudi Arabia, being used to make mind-blowing demands like this…

Saudi Arabia is trying to enlist other oil-producing countries to support a provocative idea: if wealthy countries reduce their oil consumption to combat global warming, they should pay compensation to oil producers…

"Assisting us as oil-exporting countries in achieving economic diversification is very crucial for us through foreign direct investments, technology transfer, insurance and funding," [chief Saudi negotiator, Mohammad al-Sabban] said in an e-mail message.

This Saudi position has emerged periodically as a source of dispute since the earliest global climate talks, in Rio de Janeiro in 1992. It is surfacing again as Saudi Arabia tries to build a coalition of producers to extract concessions in Copenhagen.

Let's look at this in bullet points…

* Saudi Arabia has almost all the oil.

* Saudi Arabia uses its oil supply to get almost all the money.

* The world tries to keep some of its money by trying to not use as much oil.

* Saudi Arabia demands reparations for this backhanded maneuvering.

Wow. The logic is so simple and yet so crazy. I feel like I need a drink after trying to work that through my brain. But, ugh, I should really wait till I get back to my neighborhood tonight so I can buy a six-pack from the deli around the corner from my apartment.

It's kind of overpriced, but less expensive then the price for not buy a six-pack there. It costs $12 dollars to not buy a six-pack there. Am I crazy or is that unreasonable?

Of course, what I'd really like to do is quit drinking and dry out for a while. But I don't think i can afford it.