Oh boy, Glenn Beck's nightmare dream come true: over the weekend the New York Times published a very special episode of its editorial page in which Bono defended Barack Obama's Nobel prize, the United Nations and the warm fuzzy spirit of international cooperation. Gag me with a hammer and/or sickle! It's the news media equivalent of a grande arugula latte served with Prius-shaped biscotti made from Karl Marx's family recipe!

If only we could find a palate cleanser, something to scrub our tongues of this foul European taste… well, well, what have we here: remember when Mr. Beck introduced us to the spirit of his great-great-great-grandfather, Thomas Paine? Tom's back, and he's ready to serve up a heapin' helpin' of common sense:

Amazing stuff! I think my favorite part is at 3:10, when Tom tells us to "get on the phone" and demand "excellence" instead of "bilingual education" in schools — see how he plays it off real cool, like he's been using those magic talk-throwing boxes forever?