George W. Bush, Rudy Giuliani and Colin Powell Will Speak to Everyone You've Ever Met For Whatever You've Got in Your Wallet and a Few Sandwiches

So, you've got less than $20 in your budget, but really really need to get a former President of the United States to give a motivational speech to every single person that you work with. You're probably screwed, right? Because that's how things usually work in real life, right? Right?

Actually, maybe not. I have a feeling something can be arranged…

I know. I know! Those 1,900 pennies are only going to get you George W. Bush standing in front of all your co-workers? Really? Is that the best offer we can come up with?

Not in America, it's not!

Besides [Terry] Bradshaw ("legendary NFL Hall of Fame quarterback), [Zig] Ziglar ("America's #1 motivator") and [Rudy] Giuliani ("America's mayor"), Bush will appear at the Fort Worth event with Colin Powell ("legendary soldier-statesman"), Robert Schuller ("America's best inspirational speaker"), Rick Belluzzo ("legendary president of Microsoft") and Tamara Lowe ("top sales expert and author of Get Motivated!").

Nia Vardalos ("star of My Big Fat Greek Wedding and My Life in Ruins") apparently had conflicts that day. Maybe next year.