Have you started your Christmas shopping? Don't bother. This is the only item you'll need to buy, and you'll want one for everybody on your list: young people, old people, naughty people, nice people, Jewish people just for good measure, etc.

I'm speaking, of course, about Mike Huckabee's heartwarming new book, A Simple Christmas: Twelve Stories that Celebrate the True Holiday Spirit. It's a hot cup of cocoa scented with winter spice potpourri and a dollop of baby Jesus for the real American soul…

Huckabee recounts twelve Christmas memories–often funny, sometimes deeply moving–that range from his childhood in Arkansas to his years as a young husband and father to his time as a governor and then a presidential candidate. These true stories will help you smile, take a deep breath, and maybe slow down your own holiday treadmill. For instance:

As kids, Mike and his sister would sneak open their gifts before Christmas, play with them, then rewrap them so their parents wouldn't notice. The plan worked great for several years until one Christmas morning when young Mike unwrapped a brand-new football… that was covered in mud. That led to a powerful lesson about patience.

Haw haw haw, gosh, I bet it did! You know what else teaches a powerful lesson about patience? Having to wait around for your political career to rise above the level of folksy pundit also-ran.

I bet that story'll be in Huckabee's next book, An Inane Easter: Thirteen Stories that Celebrate the True Values Voter Spirit.