To the gridiron, patriots, and by gridiron I mean Capitol Hill! It is time to tackle the socialist problem of health care reform, and by tackle I mean tackle! Your starting quarterback for this game will be the one and only Michele Bachmann, bantamweight from Minnesota, the woman who kicked off the puck on Fox News the other day with a call for "freedom-loving Americans" to attend her "Super Bowl of Freedom" and help her cry foul in the offices of Congress at noon today. Goooooaaaaaaal!

I have now run out of sports words, so let's go to the quote…

Rep. Michele Bachmann's message for conservatives traveling to Washington to attend her Capitol Hill House Call event Thursday is simple: "Go into the Capitol and find members of Congress," she told activists Wednesday night. "Don't bring your pitchforks, bring your video cameras. And get them on record saying how they're going to vote and why. And tell them, 'Take your hands off my health care!'"

Of course, if you do have a spare pitchfork lying around, couldn't hurt to bring it along. Just in case you happen to catch Nancy Pelosi trying to slam dunk a public option over the last wicket when the umpire isn't looking.

^{p.s.: Everybody, please be nice to Dennis today. Some group called the Yankees did something bad last night — caved to anti-choice Blue Dogs on abortion provisions, maybe? — and I know he's upset.}