I have to admit that if there was a chance in hell that this was coming through New York City, I'd be seriously tempted to throw down the money to see this…

Enough is enough — it's time for the truth from somebody who'll give it to you straight, whether you like it or not. Actually, make that… somebodys — Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck. This January, they're coming out from behind their desks and going on tour. Your town may never be the same.

My God! The twin diamonds that dangle most brightly from the Fox family's jewel sack. On tour together! Is this the greatest cultural event of our lifetime? I'm sure it's the greatest cultural event of somebody's lifetime.

Don't miss out on the rare opportunity to see these two men live on stage. It's an event that makes professional wrestling seem like a night at the opera.

Can you even imagine getting to see these two guys up on stage together? This thing is totally going to make professional wrestling seem like a night at the– Wait, what?

Aw, man. That was gonna be my punchline.