Earlier today, Mary pointed out how 52% Republican voters attribute Barack Obama's unfair election victory last year to the sinister powers of ACORN. (That's even higher than the percentage who attribute it to liberal chupacabras, reverse-unicorns and the creeping existence dark matter combined. Wow!)

Now, in another heroic roundhouse kick against acceptance of reality, unsuccessful conservative congressional candidate (NY-23) Doug Hoffman has yet another nefarious deed of ACORN's. They stole his election…

As evidence surfaces, we find out that reported results from election night were far from accurate. ACORN and the unions did their best to try and sway the results to Obamacare supporter Bill Owens.

Rest assured, they will not succeed, and I am therefore revoking my statement of concession…

Recent developments leave me to wonder who is scheming behind closed doors, twisting arms and stealing elections from the voters of NY-23.

I'm sure you are as dismayed as I am to learn of the mischief that took place in Oswego and neighboring counties. We know this would not be the first time for the ACORN faithful to tamper with democracy.

Fucking ACORN. If they're not hiding my house keys, traveling back in time to help out in the bombing of Pearl Harbor, or co-writing Old Dogs, they're stealing elections in suburban fiercely-conservative Republican stronghold districts.

Does their evil brilliance know no end?

Nine eleven nine eleven, nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven. Nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven! Nine eleven nine eleven nine?

Eleven…

Former Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani has decided not to run for governor of New York next year after months of mulling a candidacy, according to people who have been told of the decision.

Nine eleven nine eleven?

It was not clear what prompted the decision, but the prospect of potentially facing Attorney General Andrew M. Cuomo, who is quietly planning his own run for governor on the Democratic ticket, may not have appealed to Mr. Giuliani, who suffered a bruising defeat in the 2008 Republican presidential primary. While many political analysts believe Mr. Giuliani would have comfortably beaten Gov. David A. Paterson, he would likely have faced an uphill battle against Mr. Cuomo, one of the most popular politicians in the state.

Nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven. Nine eleven nine eleven nine: eleven nine eleven; nine eleven nine eleven; nine eleven nine; eleven nine.

Eleven nine eleven.

Update: Nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven. Nine eleven?!?!

Former Mayor Rudy Giuliani has decided not to run for governor next year – but will run for U.S. Senate instead, sources told the Daily News.

If elected, the source said, he could use that as a stepping stone to run for President in 2012 — rather than run for re-election to the Senate.

Nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven nine eleven.

Were you wondering how Senate Republicans were planning to respond to Harry Reid's never-ever-in-a-million-years-gonna-pass proposed health care bill?

Were you really? You probably shouldn't have been wondering…

Republicans, who have criticized the Democrats' initiative as a step toward government control of the healthcare system, are already planning a series of delaying tactics, including forcing the entire bill to be read aloud on the Senate floor.

"It's going to be a holy war," Sen. Orrin G. Hatch (R-Utah) said Wednesday evening.

All right! A good ol' fashioned holy war, just like they used to do it in the olden days. I'ma go grab my filabustin' stick!

Well done, Conan. Well done…

How utterly typical of the liberal MSM (Mad Something Magazine)…

(via BuzzFeed)

Here's how stars are made in today's Republican Party…

TMZ spoke with Congressman Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) who tells us he thinks Prejean could be a serious contender in the political arena:

"[Carrie] has the ability to draw crowds and if she has a strong message to go with that, who knows what she can do? She has star power which can open doors."

That's some high regard you hold your job in Rep. Chaffetz.

In all seriousness, though, could she possibly be any worse than Michele Bachmann?