Even more drastically changed is the role of White House Senior Advisor, which Karl Rove transformed from a middling policy job to one of great importance — ranking somewhat above U.S. President, but slightly below CEO of ExxonMobil.

Now with Rove banished to Fox News, (where he becomes the most liberal employee following the departure of Alan Colmes), the White House Advisor job transfers to David Axelrod, Barack Obama's longtime strategist.

Fun facts about Axelrod…

* He kind of hates Karl Rove.

* He is Jewish. This makes him an unlikely co-conspirator in Obama's planned destruction of Israel, which was reported by noted foreign policy analyst Joe the Plumber.

* He probably had a lot to do with Hillary Clinton's Secretary of State nomination, since she practically cured cancer as a favor to his wife.

* Although he sports the classic "advisor's mustache," he's still miles behind the dean of his profession, Rasputin.

No one knew this better than Barack Obama, whose campaign nearly collapsed under the weight of Wright's controversial sermons and God-awful JFK impersonation. The Illinois Senator felt forced to drop out of Wright's church and bounce between a number of other ones between late April and Election Day.

But now that he won, he can finally drop that whole act…

President-elect Barack Obama has yet to attend church services since winning the White House earlier this month, a departure from the example of his two immediate predecessors.

On the three Sundays since his election, Obama has instead used his free time to get in workouts at a Chicago gym.

Indeed, there are few place you're more likely to find Obama than not in church. Recall, if you will, the controversy surrounding Wright's "God damn America" sermon. Obama claims to have never heard Wright utter those words. Why?

Because he didn't attend church that day.

And where was Obama when Hagee declared that Hitler was sent by God to herd the Jews to Israel? Hypocritically playing basketball perhaps.

Come to think of it, Obama has also been neglecting his obligations to secretly attend a mosque and secretly pray toward Mecca five times per day ever since the day he was born!

What a disappointment.  Doesn't Obama realize that religious zealots make by far the most entertaining presidents?  The man hasn't even taken office, and already he's making Dick Cheney look like Jimmy Swaggart at a pentacostal tent revival.

If only there were a way to add a little heft to this cabinet. Nothing too drastic, just some awesome pecs, rock-solid abs and maybe a co-starring role with Sinbad, if that isn't too much to ask.

Could anyone possibly fit that description?

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger spoke to President-elect Barack Obama this week and would be willing to work for the Democratic administration once his term expires if asked, the Republican governor said in an interview broadcast this morning…

The governor has deflected rumors that he would leave his job before his term ends in two years to work for Obama, although he has left a bit of wiggle room in recent interviews. He told Fox, "I want to finish my term as governor because there's a lot of different challenges ahead." But he did not flatly reject an early departure.

It isn't immediately clear what position might suit Schwarzenegger, but the possibilities are vast, including…

* EPA Administrator (Hummer Division).

* Ambassador to the Kennedys.

* Conan the Secretary of Agriculture.

* Kindergarten Attorney General.

Of course, if the Governator were to really join the cabinet, he'd have to submit to Obama's now infamous vetting process.

So hopefully, out of the reported 63 questions, none of them reads: "Have you ever abused steroids, denied that marijuana is a drug, participated in orgies, or groped your female aides, forcing you to apologize via mass media?"

Because if that's on there, he might not get the gig.

Wrong! It was also lost by total dickery, as evidenced by right-wing demagogue Senator Jim DeMint (R-SC).

DeMint — who never met a Senate rule he didn't exploit, or a single mother he didn't try to ban from the teaching profession — has gotten so tiresome that even his fellow Republicans want nothing to do with him…

In the wake of this month’s electoral defeats, Sen. Jim DeMint (S.C.)… immediately sought a series of changes to how Senate Republicans operate, called for a return to strict conservative values and began issuing not-so-veiled threats to fellow Senators who didn’t join his crusade.

But instead of igniting a conservative revolution, DeMint has suddenly found himself on the outside looking in — following what GOP sources said was an angry rebuke of his reform demands from party elders during Tuesday’s closed-door Conference meeting.

DeMint has tried the patience of colleagues with his moral grandstanding and manipulation of Senate rules to hold up legislation. He also has brushed shoulders with party stalwarts like Thad Cochran (R-MS) and the erstwhile Sen. Ted Stevens (R-AK), who see the Senate primarily as a vehicle for pork projects, while DeMint feels it would be better used as a pulpit to bash gays.

So let it be known from here on forward that Sarah Palin may be a drag on the GOP, but no more so than Jim DeMint.

I mean did you really think DeMint would let Palin get all the glory after her Couric interview directly plagiarized from his own Miss South Carolina?

Yeah, I mean right over there. In the Senate…

Minutes after the Senate opened at noon Monday for its lame-duck session, the only lawmaker milling around the second-floor elevator banks was… Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. (D-Ill.).

Though Jackson is a leading candidate to replace President-elect Barack Obama in the Senate, Illinois Democratic Gov. Rod Blagojevich has yet to make his appointment.

So what was Jackson doing on the wrong side of the Capitol?

"MSNBC," he said, explaining he had a TV appearance on the Senate side.

Nevertheless, it did seem Jackson was walking more slowly, checking out the Senate hallways, imagining what it might be like for him should he be tapped to fill the seat.

In other news, Sen. Hillary Clinton is going to take lunch over at the State Department today, in case Barack Obama is looking for her or anything.

And Larry Craig is going to go use the bathroom right now. Just in case… ya know… you might have to as well?

And it seems no one feels stronger about that than Rep. Marilyn Musgrave (R-CO), a double-digit loser on November 4th. Rather than hopelessly attempt to equal McCain, Musgrave has decided to let his words echo by refusing to concede herself…

Two weeks after the brutal loss, Musgrave still hasn’t called her opponent [Betsy Markey] to concede or to congratulate the victor, as is not only textbook but also mannerly to do.

Now Musgrave lost by a good 11 points, despite the resonance of her platform, which consisted of the following policy points…

* Gay marriage is the single most important issue we face in our country.

* I'm the only Ken Salazar-certified Agent of Hate in the race.

* My opponent, Betsy Markey, is headed to jail. No, don't vet that claim, just accept it as fact!

* The Ku Klux Klan rewarded my gay-bashing with an endorsement.

* Yeah, the economy, I know… but The Gays!!

But now as Markey, the nation and her own staff wait for Musgrave to concede, another complication has emerged.

Namely that Musgrave has disappeared…

Though the Markey team doesn’t plan on stopping by Musgrave’s office while in town, eventually the two camps will have to touch base — just in terms of transitioning. But curiously, more rumors abound that no one has seen or talked to Musgrave since the brutal loss; she’s all but disappeared.

Hmm. Call this a stretch, but it seems to me the last time an anti-gay Colorado demagogue quietly disappeared, it was discovered that he'd spent the time in a Denver hotel room, snorting meth and banging a gay prostitute. His name was Ted Haggard.

But the comparison ends there. When he was inevitably booted from his megachurch, Haggard at least had the decency to concede.

The winner of the race for Alaska's sole House seat wasn't really in doubt after Election Day, when longtime incumbent Rep. Don Young led Democratic challenger Ethan Berkowitz by more than 16,000 votes.

It still took Berkowitz until Tuesday afternoon, with the counting of nearly all the outstanding ballots, to concede defeat to Republican Young…

Pollsters had counted Young out but they were wrong.

Wonder why those pollsters were so down on Don Young?

Could it have anything to do with the fact that…

* He's raised/spent over $1 million in legal fees amid charges that he's tied up with the same oil company that Ted Stevens has been feloniously porking.

* He used his jurisdiction as Alaska Congressman to steer $10 million to a fundraiser's construction project in Florida.

* If he were any more tied to Jack Abramoff, he'd own an Indian casino.

* Even the Club for Growth campaigned against him.

* He swung a walrus penis bone at the former U.S. Fish and Wildlife director.

* His wife is a tyrannical, computer-hating, pumpkin seed-devouring bitch.

The list goes on, but I should probably let the FBI conclude their investigation against Young before commenting any further.

Needless to say, if the G-Men decide to proceed with an arrest, they won't have a hard time finding Young.

Whether they come searching tomorrow, next year or in 2022, he'll be in his Capitol Hill office — right where the people of Alaska want him.

As Palin famously told Greta Van Susteren…

"Putting my life in my creator's hands — this is what I always do. I'm like, OK, God, if there is an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I'm like, don't let me miss the open door.

"Show me where the open door is. Even if it's cracked up a little bit, maybe I'll plow right on through that and maybe prematurely plow through it, but don't let me miss an open door."

Well when it comes to Ted Stevens' Senate seat, consider the door slammed, because Stevens lost yesterday, thus precluding a special election that could have featured Palin.

God's message to Palin: Get back to work. Run your state, keep an eye on Putin, and set your sights on 2012 when, as we all know, the prestigious State House District 9 seat will be up for grabs.

And thank Me for not giving you a shot at the U.S. Senate. Because while I, God, wouldn't slam any doors in your face on Capitol Hill, a justifiably bitter John McCain certainly would.

* November 2006: 41% of Alaska votes against women for Governor.

* August 2008: A bipartisan Alaska legislative council investigates whether women fired Public Safety Commisioner Walt Monegan to settle a personal score.

* September 2008: Barack Obama calls women a pig.

* September 2008: Katie Couric humiliates women on national TV with questions about Russia and newspapers.

* November 4, 2008: 53% of the nation rejects women for higher office by voting for Barack Obama.

Well there's more bad news for women. Someone hates them even more than America: ABC News.

That's what Fox's Greta Van Susteren discovered during a recent viewing of ABC's This Week (don't tell Roger Ailes) which featured– gasp!– zero references to Sarah Palin…

I just watched ABC's show This Week and the guest is California Gov Arnold Schwarzenegger… he was just asked about the Republican Party's FUTURE and the Republican Governor's Association meeting this past week in Miami. ABC News then ran tape of Gov Pawlenty, Gov Jindal, Gov Barbour and Gov Crist. Who was invisible? Gov Palin… the woman Governor of the biggest state and recently on the ticket.

Greta goes on — with grammar and syntax that aren't exactly helpful to the women's movement– at one point imploring her readers to "not read this blog as a pro-Palin blog entry but do read this as a pro-women blog entry."

That isn't to say you can't find pro-Palin blog entries out there. In fact, here's one from Greta herself.

And if you're more the TV type, you can always opt for her multi-part puff piece interview with the Governor, airing in a constant loop on Fox.

6:30: Rise at the crack of dawn.

7:30-8:00: Fall further behind in Senate race against Anchorage Mayor Mark Begich.

9:30: Get expelled from Senate Republican Caucus.

10:30-11:00: Surf the series of tubes.

The first two are no surprise. Stevens spends nearly every day fending off attacks from angry interest groups like the Democratic Party and the Sun.

It's Stevens' 9:30 appointment that's so troubling, because this time it's his own party that's after him…

Sen. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.) has been very public about his proposal to ask Senate Republicans, at a 9:30 meeting Tuesday morning, to formally vote on expelling Stevens from the Republican Conference, which would strip Stevens of all his committee seats, take away his seniority and essentially leave him without a party. Stevens would still be a senator, of course, but this conference expulsion would send a strong signal that expulsion from the Senate itself is a likely next step.

The good news for Stevens is that Senators' votes are a lot like juries' verdicts: They don't count the first time, at least not in the case of Stevens.

But what does it say when the party of Bob Ney, "Duke" Cunningham, Tom DeLay, Jim Gibbons, Vito Fossella and yes, Jack Abramoff believes that you're too corrupt to remain a member?

The only thing that could make this worse for Stevens would be John McCain chiming in that he's also too old.