The one eternal, immutable truth of television is that the people who appear on it deserve lots and lots of attention. Your Cronkites and Murrows. Your Koppels and Wallaces. Your Snookis. And now…

Former Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska has signed on as a contributor to the Fox News Channel.

The network confirmed that Ms. Palin would appear on the network’s programming on a regular basis as part of a multiyear deal. Financial terms were not disclosed.

Ms. Palin will not have her own regular program, one person with knowledge of the deal said, though she will host a series that will run on the network from time to time. This person would not elaborate, but the network does have a precedent for such a series. Oliver L. North is the host of an occasionally running documentary series on the military called "War Stories."

Maybe she could call her show "Breaking Moose," because of how she likes to hunt moose! Or "On Ice with Sarah Palin," because she is a hockey mom. Or maybe "Teen Beat," because she likes to engage in protracted blood feuds with teenagers in the press.

Seriously. This is a thing that is happening.

Excerpts from former Bush speechwriter Matt Latimer's book chronicling the last days of the Bush administration have been dribbling out for about a week now. Among the shocking revelations: our former president was kind of a little bit stupid:

For a commencement address at Furman University in spring 2008, Ed Gillespie wanted to insert a few lines condemning gay marriage. Bush called the speech too "condemnatory" and said, "I'm not going to tell some gay kid in the audience that he can't get married."

Maybe he figured some gay kid already knew because of it being the law that he helped make. Or maybe, he was kind of a little bit stupid. Who really knows?

I like you lots, HuffPo, but I'm still trying to figure out why this is on your front page:

Is it notable because he attempts to bring the hammer down on porn too? Is it newsworthy because attempts to assert a causal connection between heterosexual porn and homosexuality using some freshman philosophy class bullshit? Or maybe it's notable because he admits to having sex with children.

"It's been a while since I was associated with pre-adolescent boys."

Even so, it's like Edwin Edwards said: "The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy. But even then, probably no one would care except the blogs."

It's official. Sonia Sotomayor is headed to the Supreme Court.

Voting largely along party lines, the Senate on Thursday confirmed Judge Sonia Sotomayor as the 111th justice of the Supreme Court. She will be the first Hispanic and the third woman to serve on the court.

Get all your shooting and Hootie and the Blowfish concerts in now before she uses her racism wisdom to outlaw guns and white people.

Michael Steele was selected to head the RNC as the Republicans' answer to Barack Obama. And the similarities are endless. Obama has a meticulous legal mind. Steele has a mustache. Obama is eloquent, charming and effective. Steele is bumbling, sweaty and incompetent. Obama is black, Steele is black. If you can tell them apart, you're either lying or Batman.

There is, however, one crucial difference:

While hosting Bill Bennett's radio show Friday morning, Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele appeared to agree with a caller that President Obama is "the magic Negro."

CALLER: It's just like the LA Times said last year, or two years ago — he is the magic Negro.
STEELE: Yeah he is — [laughter]. You read that too, huh?
CALLER: Oh yeah. I read that too. And even when things go wrong, he still manages to come out smelling like a rose.
STEELE: Well, yeah. And it's because he's getting unprecedented coverage — cover — by the media.

Steele just can't pull a quarter out of America's ear, and the cool uncle always gets the press. Guess they'll have to dump him after all.

When Justice David Souter resigns in June, a rare and coveted slot will open up on the highest court in the land…

…for the ladies.

Long before Souter's decision was known, legal eagles and political observers were taking stabs as to who would be an ideal fit for a Barack Obama Court. Observers believe the Obama is likely to choose a woman, with only one currently serving on the bench. The president's thoughts on judicial philosophy, developed during his years as a law review editor and professor, will also shape his thinking. With that in mind, law blogs, speculative reporters, and (in private) elected officials had already begun bandying names about.

Yeah, diversity of experience, equal representation and blah blah — can we think this through for a minute? The last thing the bench needs is more women on it. The way I understand it, those people menstruate on everything. Especially benches.