Gregorio Kilili Camacho Sablan will be going to Washington!

Sablan, an Independent, squeaked out a 357-vote victory over Republican Pedro A. Tenorio in a recount election that was finally decided last week.  He intends to caucus with the Democrats.

The Northern Marianas Islands (previously best known for housing Jack Abramoff's slave-fueled sweatshops) is thrilled to be sending a delegate to Congress for the first time ever.  Now, Sablan will get to join the ranks of delegates from the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, and Guam in not being able to vote on legislation.  But at least they get to watch!

The only drawback will be Sablan's commute.  A Fox News reporter caught up to him on Saturday for an exclusive interview…

I asked Sablan how one gets to Washington from the Northern Mariana Islands. He took a four-hour flight from the capital of Saipan to Tokyo. Then boarded a Northwest flight to Detroit. Then hopped a direct flight to Washington.

"I've been traveling more than 24 hours," Sablan moaned.

Good luck with that one, Delegate!

Now the news has come that Barack Obama has tapped Hillary Clinton as his Secretary of State, dashing Kerry's dreams of having some sort of relevance…

Democrats say he made no secret of his Foggy Bottom aspirations. “He’s crushed,” said one Senate aide. Kerry would have been a fine pick, sources say, but Obama apparently had his eye on Hillary Clinton since the early fall. He does get an impressive consolation prize: the chairmanship of the Foreign Relations Committee vacated by Joe Biden.

Well, at least Kerry will get to bang a gavel.  And this will give him time to devote to some of his favorite activities, like windsurfing, heli-skiing, and cheese-eating.

And sobbing.

Well, McInturff is back in the spotlight — this time for threatening the limbs of fellow Republican pollster and George W. Bush crony Frank Luntz in a speech yesterday…

Unrestrained by the formalities of the election, McInturff levied some sharps words at fellow GOPers who — generally speaking — never really were bullish on the idea of a McCain presidency. The most biting jabs were saved for communications guru Frank Luntz.

"I saw Frank Luntz," said McInturff, "who is a moron — I want to make sure this is clearly on the record — he was talking to Republican governors, making fun of John for not being able to use a BlackBerry. The man can't do it because he is much more disabled than people can imagine… I would like to take a hammer and start breaking bones in Frank's arms."

Strong words!

Luntz, of course, has been widely discredited as a partisan hack and has recently been reduced to pathetic name-dropping with foreign journalists. With the collapse of the Republican dominance of Washington, his prospects are dimmer than ever.

And now he has two broken arms to deal with.

Sanchez made the announcement yesterday, by granting an exclusive interview to the columnist Patt Morrison…

According to the column, Sanchez and her boyfriend of a year and half, Jim Sullivan, a public relations consultant, are "unofficially engaged." The baby is due May 21.

"I don't know how it'll be received," Sanchez told the L.A. Times columnist. "I hope people will recognize that to be able to plan that in your life — I don't think that marriage and childbirth are black and white. There are certain instances in which you have to do things in reverse order."

The 39-year-old Sanchez will be the first unwed mother ever in Congress. Needless to say, there have been plenty of congressmen who have fathered children out of wedlock. It's just easier for them to conceal their scandalous progeny (unless of course they get arrested for drunk driving while going to see them).

As for Sanchez's so-called "unofficial" fiancee, Jim Sullivan… He was last seen sneaking onto an outbound freight train with Levi Johnston.

As ballots continue to be counted two weeks after Election Day, the Republican is just barely in the lead in his race against Charlie Brown!

Wait, what's that?  It's not that Charlie Brown?

OK, so maybe it's someone else, but McClintock should be more than 592 votes ahead of a Democrat in the heavily conservative 5th District of California.  The vote difference is close enough that both candidates went to DC this week to participate in freshman orientation on Capitol Hill…

Neither candidate has been declared a winner, but both Charlie Brown and Tom McClintock will be in Washington this week to attend freshman orientation for newly elected members of Congress.

Maybe they'll both show up this morning on the steps of the U.S. Capitol, when the newcomers pose for their official class photograph.

"That may be a collector's item," McClintock spokesman Bill George said Thursday.

We'll see how this one turns out.  Absentee and provisional ballots are still being counted and a recount seems likely.

In related news in Minnesota, Al Franken is faring well in his recount fight against The Riddler.

However, Barack Obama apparently didn't get the memo about the exact date of the Vice President-Elect's special day, because he was celebrating yesterday. With cupcakes.

Biden's birthday is Thursday, but Obama surprised his No. 2 after their weekly lunch Wednesday at the transition office in Chicago. According to staff, Obama presented Biden — a Delaware senator with decades of foreign policy experience — with a dozen cupcakes decorated with candles and teased, "You're 12 years old!"

Staff reported that Biden, ever astute in the art of politics, laughed at the his boss's joke. He responded: "Maybe in dog years!"

Obama led the rest of the staff in song, then handed over some Chicago-themed gifts: a White Sox cap, a Bears cap and a bucket of Garrett's popcorn, a hometown favorite.

So, really what Biden got was a reminder of what he has to look forward to for the next four years… a boss who forgets when his birthday is, makes lame jokes at his expense, gives him gifts that he's just going to take back anyway, and meets with him exactly once a week for an awkward lunch.

And no pinata.

(photo via CNN)

Roll Call reports that many incoming legislators more than easily qualify for Barack Obama's socialist tax hike, including…

* New Virginia Senator Mark Warner, who founded Nextel and is worth $91 million

* New Wyoming Representative Cynthia Lummis, who apparently owns $17 million worth of cattle

* New Idaho Senator Jim Risch, who is taking Larry Craig's seat and is worth $20 million (most of which will be spent on industrial-strength disinfectant for that seat)

In case you were wondering, none of these freshman lawmakers will even come close to topping the reigning king of Washington wealth.

What, you really don't know who that is? John Kerry, of course! He's worth at a minimum $231 million, and that doesn't include anything held solely in Theresa Heinz-Kerry's name.

It also doesn't include the millions he spent on advertising in the Chicago media market promoting himself as a candidate for Secretary of State.

Now, after not running for reelection, he has only two months left of his Senate career. And he apparently intends to use it bashing his own party…

Appearing at a forum at the Johns Hopkins School of Advances International Studies, the outgoing Nebraska Republican leveled harsh criticism at his own party, the lack of intellectual curiosity among some of his colleagues, the Bush administration's handling of nearly every aspect of governance and — perhaps most bitingly — the conservative radio voices that often dictate the GOP agenda.

"We are educated by the great entertainers like Rush Limbaugh," said Hagel, sarcastically referencing the talk radio host who once called him "Senator Betrayus." "You know, I wish Rush Limbaugh and others like that would run for office. They have so much to contribute and so much leadership and they have an answer for everything. And they would be elected overwhelmingly," he offered. "[The truth is] they try to rip everyone down and make fools of everybody but they don't have any answers."

Hagel is free to speak as he likes — he has nothing to gain or lose as he rides off into the sunset of retirement. I bet he can't wait to go back to Nebraska and live out the rest of his days in total obscurity.

Unless… What's that, Mr. Obama? Did you say that you're looking for some Republicans to serve in your Cabinet?

Well, I guess Chuck Hagel could maybe be persuaded to stay…

In Ohio's 15th Congressional District, Republican Steve Stivers currently leads Democrat Mary Jo Kilroy by a razor-thin 149 votes.  That's fewer people than were in line in front of me on the morning of November 4th!  (When I was waiting to buy scratch tickets.)

A recount is looming, but in the meantime there is a dispute between the two sides over more than 1,000 uncounted provisional ballots.  Republicans contend that the voters who cast those blatantly broke the law and invalidated their ballots by failing to both sign and print their names at the polling place.  So they're suing to block those votes from being counted.  On the other side are the Democrats, who have this crazy notion that people's votes should count even if they didn't follow every single arcane rule on the books.

Even more infuriating is the fact that the only part of the 15th District where the sign-and-print requirement was in effect was Franklin County, which includes the city of Columbus and is strongly Democratic.

Oh yeah, and Stivers' people initially tried to file the lawsuit with the Ohio Supreme Court, which is entirely made up of Republicans.

Hooray for democracy!

At least she gets to go home with the lovely consolation prize of a $7 million book deal…

After she spent the last few weeks talking to just about any camera put in front of her, it should come as no surprise that former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin is moving closer to inking a book deal.

Just how much could the Alaska governor make from putting pen to paper? About $7 million, according to some estimates.

Sound like a lot? Not necessarily, says one literary insider.

"Bill Clinton made more than $10 million when he signed his deal in 2001 and that was the most for a former president," says the source. "Sarah brings something different to the table — there is so much curiosity surrounding her and her life. If they move fast and get this thing on shelves, then a $7 million advance could be worth it."

Right. Bill Clinton was the incredibly influential two-term leader of the free world. And Palin was… a national disgrace. That's about 7/10 as good.

The inevitable speculation is now arising about who will ghostwrite the book for Palin. It will take a skilled writer to capture her unique voice but not simply devolve into incoherent baby babble.

In the meantime, Palin can put down a deposit on a helicopter and some high-powered rifles.