First Lady Michelle Obama is launching a mentoring program in which female White House senior staff impart educational, career development and life skills to young girls.

Explaining the program, the First Lady said…

"When we came to the White House, we thought 'wow, we've got the most powerful seat in the land to help be a bridge builder… So we started thinking of new ways to bring new kids in, to have their voices heard, to know that the President of the United States hears you and values you and cares about your growth and development."

And in nurturing that development, the program hopes to offer several life lessons and tutorials gleaned from this administration's rise to power and first year in office, including…

* It's not how well you do your job, it's how poorly the guy you're replacing did his

* Finding places to store your audacious, but unused, hope

* Compromising your dreams: It only hurts forever

It's easy to call MSNBC's Joe Scarborough names. For example, here's just a few off the top of my head…

* Second string political pundit who couldn't hack it on Capitol Hill

* Disingenuous messenger for the Republican agenda, tempering his views with the political winds to create the false impression of objectivity; and, of course

* Lumpy

But none of those barbs can rob the man of his keen political insight. Offering views on the close New Jersey gubernatorial race, Scarborough writes…

"[T]he Democrats' turnout operation should keep this race tight all night. If the race is instead a blowout, that can only be bad news for the Democrats."

See? Some people couldn't offer that kind of insight. Y'know, people who have spent their entire adult life huffing heavy metal industrial isotopes.

So the next time you're tempted to stick it to old Joe, c'mon, show some respect.

Say what you want about Republican gubernatorial candidate Chris Christie, but he knows a little something about the good people of New Jersey. In Texas, they may like candidates who strongly defend the right to bear arms. And in Wisconsin, a fine knowledge of dairy issues might secure you votes. But in New Jersey, it's all about referencing vintage British comedy.

Why else would Christie's campaign have produced a spot lifting old Monty Python footage wholesale while attacking Senator Corzine's alleged plans to hike tolls? It's all about giving the people what they want. And in a rough and tumble state like Jersey, you can't be sweating the small stuff like copyright laws either. That's why Christie apparently posted the spot with no authority from the Pythons. Because, y'know, that's what the kids are doing.

And now Christie's plan's all coming together. Just listen to the press he's getting from New Jersey's favorite adopted sons: Michael "hearts Trenton" Palin and Terry "Jersey City Rocks" Jones…

"I'm surprised that a former U.S. Attorney isn't aware of his copyright infringement when he uses our material without permission. He's clearly made a terrible mistake."

Monty Python's Terry Jones says that the troupe is strongly considering suing the Republican for his copyright infringement:

"It is totally outrageous that a former US Attorney knows so little about the law that he thinks he can rip off people. On the other hand — another of Bush's legal appointees was Alberto Gonzales and he didn't seem to know much about the law either…," Jones said.

With press like that Christie probably doesn't even need to run that second spot about Corzine's liberal agenda over images of Benny Hill patting the old guy on the head.

Its 2009. Osama bin Laden is still at large. And, apparently, the United States' relationship with Pakistan is not paying the kind of dividends we'd like to see.

That's why Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is on a three day trip to Pakistan. And based on her rhetoric, she's taken a page from Dr. Phil for these talks…

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said Friday she did not come to Pakistan for "happy talk."

Her three-day trip is aimed at getting frank, open discussions going about the fight against terrorism, and that includes presenting U.S. concerns about how much success Pakistan is having, she said.

In an interview with CNN, Clinton said it's time to "clear the air" with a key U.S. ally. She added, "I don't think the way you deal with negative feelings is to pretend they're not there."

There ya go. Pervez Musharraf won't be able to counter that. Especially not if she follows it up with a "So, you first gained power via a military coup… How's that working out for you?" Then when he's all, "You're not the same country, I did photo ops with eight years ago," she can be all "I can't help you, Pakistan. Only you can help you."

Faced with that kind of diplomacy, Musharraf's only option would be to Springer it up with a "It's my country, I do what I want!"

And that, my friends, is how we win this war on terror.

So Indecision asked me to write a list of women who have had infamous sexual relationships with political figures.
“Oh, like political mistresses?" I asked.
“No. More like Secret Girlfriends,” they replied.
“Secret Girlfriends? What? Why would you call them that?”
“Oh, no reason.”

#7 – William Rufus King
Senator from Alabama, Vice President under Franklin Pierce, and according to some, President James Buchanan’s lover. “Where’s my proof,” you ask? To which I reply, “Proof? Really? This is the internet.” In any event, Buchanan was our nation’s only bachelor President and he did live with King for quite some time. Need more? Well, apparently Andrew Jackson used to refer to King as “Miss Nancy.” So there’s that. Although I must confess that even in the 1800’s “Miss Nancy” seems like a pretty weak slam on a guy you’re trying to paint as gay. Is that really the best Old Hickory could do? More like “Old Dickory,” amirite? See what I mean?

Read more »

Well, at this point everyone's seen or at least heard from those who saw Jim Cramer on The Daily Show last week. The interview capped off a week-long feud between Cramer and host Jon Stewart. Overall, Stewart took the Mad Money host, and the show's network, CNBC, to task for its failure to warn investors of the inevitable financial crisis. Cramer countered some of Stewart's rhetorical indictments and damning video footage with his own debate tactic: repeated apologies and seeming contrition.

But while you may have formed your own opinions about the show's content, how do you really know what you saw until you find out what everyone else is saying? I mean, if Jon Stewart and The Daily Show have taught us anything, it's the importance of buying into public perceptions of reported discourse, right?

With that in mind, I was asked to plough through the oodles of Indecision comments as well as the media at large to find out what really happened. My findings were intensely varied, but one thing became clear: many Daily Show viewers, inexplicably, do not understand how to spell Jon Stewart. (I counted over 100 spellings of "John.")

The comments pretty much broke down like this…

The overwhelming majority lauded Jon for his efforts, calling him everything from "smart" to a "patriot" to a "real journalist." Most felt Stewart had the courage, intelligence, and eloquence to say what should have been said by journalists and regulators years ago, and although this article provides a sampling of voices, that overall take should not be lost. Rather than fill this article with all the praise Stewart received, I thought I'd boil them all down to one fictitious comment…

EDWARD R. MURROW HAD SEX WITH THE STATUE OF LIBERTY WHO GAVE BIRTH TO JON STEWART WHO THEN WENT ON TO SAVE OUR NATION.

That pretty much sums up the praise in one perfect sex-based sentence.

Read more »