We know that November 3, 2009 isn't a real Election Day. But still, we can all pretend. Right? Take a look at these six elections and let us know how much you care.
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Fancy Nancy Pelosi has her heart set on a Saturday vote for this health care thing, because there is nothing in the Constitution to stop her from working on a weekend, but people on both sides of the aisle are digging in their heels, shaking their heads, throwing things, etc., so the vote may not happen until Sunday if it happens at all.
The question of abortion coverage in the health care bill has bedeviled top Democrats for weeks. Under its current language, the measure would allow individuals to purchase policies through a new insurance exchange that would cover abortion procedures.
Getting "abortion" mixed up with "valid legal medical care" is, of course, contrary to everything America stands for. Doesn't anyone have a better idea, one that won't just cater to pro-choice types?
Democratic leaders may turn to compromise language drafted by Rep. Brad Ellsworth, an Indiana Democrat opposed to abortion rights. Ellsworth has proposed using private contractors to pay providers of abortion services – an idea that has come under fire from both supporters and opponents of abortion rights.
Nice work, Rep. Ellsworth! I don't have a dictionary handy, but I'm pretty sure that's the textbook definition of a compromise.
I've watched this video several times now and I can't decide if the best part is at the end, when Rep. Akin makes a grunting noise ("wwwrahh") as he realizes his mistake, or if it's a few seconds later, when an unidentified woman yells out "That was awesome, Todd!"
Have the teabaggers discovered sarcasm? Is that possible?
(Via Townhall, which notes that "it's happened to all of us." Fair enough. I'm sure they'd say the same thing if Joe Biden gaffed the words to the Pledge.)
Have you started your Christmas shopping? Don't bother. This is the only item you'll need to buy, and you'll want one for everybody on your list: young people, old people, naughty people, nice people, Jewish people just for good measure, etc.
Huckabee recounts twelve Christmas memories–often funny, sometimes deeply moving–that range from his childhood in Arkansas to his years as a young husband and father to his time as a governor and then a presidential candidate. These true stories will help you smile, take a deep breath, and maybe slow down your own holiday treadmill. For instance:
As kids, Mike and his sister would sneak open their gifts before Christmas, play with them, then rewrap them so their parents wouldn't notice. The plan worked great for several years until one Christmas morning when young Mike unwrapped a brand-new football… that was covered in mud. That led to a powerful lesson about patience.
Haw haw haw, gosh, I bet it did! You know what else teaches a powerful lesson about patience? Having to wait around for your political career to rise above the level of folksy pundit also-ran.
I bet that story'll be in Huckabee's next book, An Inane Easter: Thirteen Stories that Celebrate the True Values Voter Spirit.
To the gridiron, patriots, and by gridiron I mean Capitol Hill! It is time to tackle the socialist problem of health care reform, and by tackle I mean tackle! Your starting quarterback for this game will be the one and only Michele Bachmann, bantamweight from Minnesota, the woman who kicked off the puck on Fox News the other day with a call for "freedom-loving Americans" to attend her "Super Bowl of Freedom" and help her cry foul in the offices of Congress at noon today. Goooooaaaaaaal!
Rep. Michele Bachmann's message for conservatives traveling to Washington to attend her Capitol Hill House Call event Thursday is simple: "Go into the Capitol and find members of Congress," she told activists Wednesday night. "Don't bring your pitchforks, bring your video cameras. And get them on record saying how they're going to vote and why. And tell them, 'Take your hands off my health care!'"
Of course, if you do have a spare pitchfork lying around, couldn't hurt to bring it along. Just in case you happen to catch Nancy Pelosi trying to slam dunk a public option over the last wicket when the umpire isn't looking.
p.s.: Everybody, please be nice to Dennis today. Some group called the Yankees did something bad last night — caved to anti-choice Blue Dogs on abortion provisions, maybe? — and I know he's upset.
Fiorina, considered to be a moderate Republican with little history on social issues, will face off against conservative California Assemblyman Chuck DeVore for the GOP nomination.
The Fiorina-DeVore matchup has all the makings of another Republican battle between the conservative wing of the party and national leaders seeking for the most electable candidate. [...] A string of conservative bloggers have already lined up behind DeVore, and South Carolina Sen. Jim DeMint said Tuesday he was backing the assemblyman.
So which will it be, California Republicans? The ineffective lady whose printers never work or the DeMint-ed DeVore? Only time will tell, but either way, it'll have nothing to do with the shallowness of the GOP's leadership pool and everything to do with Barack Obama's first year in office.
Yesterday the nation watched as Maine voted on a controversial referendum measure that could make their fellow citizens' lives better and easier without infringing on anyone else's rights or freedom.
A referendum to expand Maine's medical marijuana law won handily on Election Day. With 86 percent of the precincts reporting, the measure was ahead 58 percent to 41 percent, the Bangor Daily News reported Wednesday.
The measure eases access to marijuana for individuals with certain medical conditions by expanding the list of qualifying conditions, creates a state-regulated registry of qualified users and allows for a statewide system of storefront distribution centers.
"This confirms what our polling has told us all along," said Jonathan Leavitt, campaign manager of Maine Citizens for Patient Rights. "The credibility of this issue is so strong, we didn't need to convince anyone that this was the right thing to do."
Exactly! Can you imagine how ridiculous it would be if the pro-marijuana campaign in Maine had to raise millions of dollars, develop TV ads, hire professional polling companies, organize armies of volunteers, knock on thousands of doors and log thousands of hours in phone banks just to convince other Mainers that it's okay for the state to get patients baked on the good stuff if it maybe takes the edge off their pain?
Fancy Nancy Pelosi has her heart set on a Saturday vote for this health care thing, because there is nothing in the Constitution to stop her from working on a weekend, but people on both sides of the aisle are digging in their heels, shaking their heads, throwing things, etc., so the vote may not happen until Sunday if it happens at all.
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Have you started your Christmas shopping? Don't bother. This is the only item you'll need to buy, and you'll want one for everybody on your list: young people, old people, naughty people, nice people, Jewish people just for good measure, etc.
Yesterday the nation watched as Maine voted on a controversial referendum measure that could make their fellow citizens' lives better and easier without infringing on anyone else's rights or freedom.
