Finally! This weekend, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is available for all the world to read. But once you run your grubby little muggle eyes across the 17,000 pages of the book in one 12-hour reading marathon, then what?
Well, if you really need your Harry Potter fix, you can flip on the news, mute the sound, and pretend the candidates are your favorite Rowling characters. After quaffing several flagons of polyjuice potion, here's what we divined…
Al Gore = Hermione Granger
Loveable know-it-all; has grown noticeably "shapelier" over the years
John Edwards = Ron Weasley
Good sidekick, but can he win the quidditch tournament on his own?
Rudy Giuliani = Draco Malfoy
Has a hard time keeping his wand in its sheath
Mitt Romney = Severus Snape
Good or evil, no one knows — either way, could really use some sun
H.R. Clinton = J.K. Rowling
Zillionaire book author
Ralph Nader = Lord Voldemort
Just when you thought you'd seen the last of him…
And now for the final mystery: Who do you think is Harry Potter?
Tags: Al Gore, Candidate Casting Couch, Harry Potter, Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, Mitt Romney, Ralph Nader, Rudy Giuliani