- Barack Obama refuses to redeploy imaginary troops from Pakistan.
- Romney, GOP confused by sudden seeming-reasonableness, desperately search for something retarded to say.
- Actually, they were saying "Boooo-llary!"
- Possible presidential candidate not smart enough to dodge jury duty.
- Giuliani deigns to step into Wal-Mart to shed small shaft of light onto lives of inbred plebes.
Tags: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Michael Bloomberg, Mitt Romney, Republicans, Roll Call, Rudy Giuliani