With technophiles and Mac fanboys all a'twitter over the upcoming Macworld Conference & Expo this week in San Francisco, the internet is abuzz with rumors about what new glories His Eminence Steve Jobs is planning to unveil.
Last year's expo gave us our first taste of the iPhone, and this year — with an important election looming on the horizon — Jobs may be poised to introduce some sweet new products for the stock of Republican and Democratic candidates. Here's a roundup of some of the more popularly rumored announcements…
iMotion Rentals for Hillary Clinton
A new iTunes feature which would allow the junior senator from New York to immediately download the appropriate emotion best suited to drive up flagging poll numbers at any given time. Warning: Downloaded material will expire after 24 hours due to DRM restrictions.
OS X Time Machine back-up software for Rudy Giuliani
According to Apple's website, this elegantly simple little utility will allow the former mayor of New York City to "select a specific date" (say, September 11, 2001) and "[t]hen click Restore and Time Machine brings it back to the present." This will allow Giuliani to "easily go back in time to recover anything" including the voters' collective sense of fear, uncertainty and impending doom.
8-Core Mac Pro for Mitt Romney
This multi-processor platform allows the former governor of Massachusetts to have many opinions on key campaign issues simultaneously without the need to shift back and forth. Seamlessly allows Romney to interface with multiple platforms other than his own and even third party products and services.
Macbook Air for Barack Obama
If all you have to bring to the table is a couple of old speeches, why lug a big bulky laptop around with you from campaign stop to stop when all you need is a slim SSD (Solid State Drive) to carry your few odd years of political experience? Comes in a variety of colors from off-white to Kenyan.
John Edwards for John Edwards
Not a major upgrade, just a speed bump for this already successful product that is known for it's trademark Apple-style sleek design and faux-anti-corporation rep.
iBid 20.08 for Joe Biden, Bill Richardson, Chris Dodd, Tom Tancredo, Tommy Thompson
Sadly, we can confirm that this rumored product will not be making a debut tomorrow. Like the Newton MessagePad 100 and the Power G4 Mac Cube, some things that seem like good ideas at the time just aren't fated to capture the consumer's imagination. Even the Steve Jobs Reality Distortion Field couldn't save it.
Tags: Apple, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, Steve Jobs