A Billionaire's Guide to the Candidates By Ivy League-Legacy: John Edwards

Disclaimer: the following post contains graphic progressivism, and content which may not be suitable for all Billionaires. Read on at your own risk.

Before we say goodbye to white trash pretty boy John Edwards' gleaming smile and terrifying talk of **shudder** "One America," let's take a closer look at the only Democratic candidate who embraced a truly progressive agenda. If you believe in government of, by, and for the corporations, then John Edwards is wrong, wrong, wrong for you. Thank goodness reason seems to have prevailed, and as his polls go south, we expect him to take himself and all his high-minded, munificent ideas back down South as well.

One of Us

He's not one of us, but he still has millions of dollars! He really believes in economic justice, his father was a mill-worker, and his lifetime of hard work and public service has brought him tremendous success. How can the system have failed us like this?

One Dollar, One Vote

At a town hall in New Hampshire Edwards said, "if you really believe in democracy, we ought to publicly finance our campaigns." He wants to kick the Billionaires out of campaign finance, and stop lobbyists from giving money and gifts to politicians! Sweet fancy moses, what would we do?

Four More Wars!

Edwards