Booing John McCain: A Short Play

The following short play is loosely based upon actual events surrounding the Conservative Conference at which John McCain will be speaking today…

Conservative Guy: I will gladly sign your form, good sir. Thank you for registering me for the Conservative Political Action Conference.

CPAC Staffer: No. Thank you, sir. It is truly my pleasure.

Conservative Guy: What time does McCain speak?

CPAC Staffer: 3 p.m. today.

Conservative Guy: Oh good. I hope they boo him out of the room.*

CPAC Staffer: No, no no no no. We've been instructed to tell participants not to boo McCain.*

Conservative Guy: Are you kidding me?*

CPAC Staffer: Well, we want to seem above Democrats and we don't want the booing to be the story.*

Conservative Guy: Booooooooo!!!

CPAC Staffer: Excuse me?

Conservative Guy: Booooooooooooo!!!!

CPAC Staffer: Are you booing me?

Conservative Guy: Boooooooo!!!

CPAC Staffer: Stop it! Stop it now!

Other Conservative Guy: Booooooooo!!!!

CPAC Staffer: You stop it, too!

Little Boy Hiding Behind the Curtains of Ted Danson's Apartment: Booooooooooooo!!!!

CPAC Staffer: You're only a cardboard cutout!

Conservative Guy: My father never loved me.

CPAC Staffer: I forgive you.

BLACKOUT

* Actuals quotations