As we told you earlier, John McCain has a dickens of a problem (that's old-person speak for "has a problem"): he needs to get some press attention, somehow, even though Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are total headline hoggers.
Conservative pundit Grover Norquist has some sage advice for McCain: don't go out and get wasted with Paris Hilton.
"What do you do to not be forgotten… Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears get in trouble when they get desperate for attention," [Norquist] said. "You need to do something that's both constructive and gets you in the newspaper."
That means we better not catch you snorting Ritalin at the Chateau Marmont, you got it, McCain? No driving 90 miles per hour to Starbucks on the wrong side of the freeway without wearing underwear.
And absolutely no nude recreations of famous Marilyn Monroe photo shoots.
Tags: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John McCain