Mike Gravel is Now a Sexy Libertarian

It looks like the Democratic presidential candidate is going to be either Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton…

…because Mike Gravel is out!

I know! And not only that, but he's jumping ship and attempting to run for the Libertarian party. Can you believe it? What a sad day for the Democratic Party…

"It is a party that combines a commitment to freedom and peace that can't be found in the two major parties that control the government and politics of America," Gravel said in a statement released late Tuesday by America's largest third party.

"My libertarian views, as well as my strong stance against war, the military industrial complex and American imperialism, seem not to be tolerated by Democratic Party elites who are out of touch with the average American."

Gravel then climbed inside the carcass of a grizzly bear he had recently slain and recommenced his ritualistic howling for a better America.