Barack Obama is Your Host for "Win, Lose or Alienate"

You know what I don't get enough of from my politicians? Blanket psychoanalysis.

Luckily, Barack Obama's around to bring that much needed change…

"You go into these small towns in Pennsylvania and, like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing's replaced them… And they fell through the Clinton Administration, and the Bush Administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not.

"And it's not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."

Oh! It's the Alienate Non-Ivy-League-Educated Voters game! I love this game. We haven't played this since the Kerry campaign four years ago.

Um… Stupid small town Americans also cling to… Gee… Uh, I'm gonna go with… Shitty Reality Shows. No, no, no! I'm gonna go with Fucking God Awful Country Music Garbage That I Can't Stand!

Ding ding ding!

Yeah!! I totally rule!

For the bonus round, let's name "Middle American Sacred Cows Who Could Fall Off a Bridge and I Wouldn't Give a Shit About It" for 300.

Show me Dale Earnhardt, Jr.