• The Onion: Which Hummus is Right for America?

    Let's take a break from all this annoying election news and look at a matter of extreme importance to all Americans.

    According to the Onion — America's finest news source — the hummus wars have really been heating up these past few months.

    And I'm not talking the whole hummus vs. avocado dip controversy. No, this is hummus on hummus action, with Sabra Hummus and Cedar's Hummus trading jabs back and forth

    "People of this country don't want some flash-in-the-pan hummus," said Sabra chairman Yehuda Pearl, adding that Sabra's strong coalition of mashed up chickpeas, sesame tahini, lemon juice, and garlic is virtually unbeatable.

    "When it's 3 a.m., which hummus do Americans trust for their pita chip–dipping? Some new hummus that makes a lot of promises about taste, or a hummus with over 20 years experience serving the American people?"

    Critics of both brands say that Sabra and Cedar's are essentially the same, offering citizens no difference in flavor, protein content, and quality.

    Be that as it may, I still think that people who eat Cedar's Hummus are brain dead retards.

    Tags: The Onion


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