• Hillary Clinton Will Blow Your Brains Out With Her Hand Cannon, Punk

    The big news over the weekend that we missed because we were too busy getting drunk and proposition she-males (consenting she-males) was that Hillary Clinton outed herself to an Indiana crowd as a hardboiled vigilante who fires a gun from each hand while sliding backwards across the floor in Hong Kong nightclubs. Or something like that

    "You know, my dad took me out behind the cottage that my grandfather built on a little lake called Lake Winola outside of Scranton and taught me how to shoot when I was a little girl," she said.

    "You know, some people now continue to teach their children and their grandchildren. It's part of culture. It's part of a way of life. People enjoy hunting and shooting because it's an important part of who they are. Not because they are bitter."

    You see what she did there? She let everybody know much she loves guns making her that much more American than Barack Obama who hates guns and thinks that everybody who has a gun is an embittered, backwards hick.

    Smart move, Senator Clinton. And you come off as so sincere in doing it. There's no possible way that all this gun business could backfire on you.

    Minutes later, in a slightly awkward moment, Clinton faced a question from a woman in the audience whose son had been paralyzed by a gunshot. The woman asked Clinton what she would do about gun control as president.

    That lady was lucky to make it out of there with her life.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Indiana


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