• LiveBlog: Democrats Go Dutch in Pennsylvania

    Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are hitching up their buggies, packing in their butter churns, and raising a debate hall smack dab in the middle of Philly for a debate that promises to be the most fun anyone who's ever rejected electricity for over 100 years has ever had. We'll be liveblogging the debate, starting at 8 until the bitter end, below the jump.

    Update 9:52: That's a wrap. I guess I still don't know whether I should vote for the liar or the crypto-terrorist. Thank God there's a great American waiting in the wings. If only he could run against himself…

    I'd definitely be willing to shell out a few billion dollars to bend the dimensions and tesseract that into existance.

    Update 9:46: For the last Constitution break, ABC goes with the First Amendment. I guess we'll see who's really committed to that.

    Update 9:37: Obama calls for a strong windfall profits tax on oil companies. I was going to run with my rock solid windfall profits tax joke, but you've all already heard it.

    Update 9:24: Hm, the Second Amendment. I thought they'd save it for the encore.

    Update 9:19: ABC takes a break. But what Constitution passage are we going to get when we come back? Oh please please let it be Article I, Section 8! "The Congress shall have Power…to define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offenses against the Law of Nations" — vintage!

    Update 9:10: Obama wants to invest in our infrastructure. I can't abide this. I like my bridges crumbly and my power lines zappy and swingin'!

    Update 9:03: Blah blah blah. Nukes nukes nukes. Threats to our very civilization itself shmeats to our very civilzation itself. Let's hear more about that crazy angry black terrorist pastor guy!

    Update 8:51: Ah, I see. We're getting Constitution quotes because we're in Constitution Hall! Personally, I'd like to hear how the candidates are going to get me health care and end the clusterfuck in Iraq. But I guess they're saving those for next month's Democratic debate in Important Policy Points And Not Meaningless, Ad Hominem Bullshit That Makes Your Inner Ear Implode Hall

    Update 8:42: Obama doesn't think it's fair that we judge him based on the people he knows. Personally, I think anyone who knows Charlie Gibson is fit to be president. But if he doesn't want me judging him that way… guess I'm back to undecided.

    Update 8:26: Hillary Clinton reminds us that you don't get to choose your family, but you do get to choose your pastor and that one chooses a pastor based on what one believes. And she's not saying that one believes that America is a racist, fascist terrorist police state that deserves to die 1000 deaths. But, you know, it just seems like that's what one believes sometimes, doesn't it?

    Update 8:14: Hillary Clinton's grandfather was a mill worker. A gun mill worker. In a gun mill in the basement of a Methodist Church. The Scranton First Church of Desert Eagle.

    Update 8:10: There it is again! Man, where did that thing go?

    Update 8:07: A constitution update! I totally forgot about that founding document of our nation!

    Update 8:01: Hillary Clinton vs. Barack Obama. Simply put, the stakes couldn't be higher. Obama wins the coin toss. Wow, this is big. I hear he's retiring after this season.

    We'll be starting at 8 pm.


    Tags: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Liveblog, Pennsylvania

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.