• Pennsylvania Primary: Goin' Dutch – Superdelegates' Super Interest

    oabama_clinton_300x200.jpg

    As practically everybody understands by this point, neither PA frontrunner Hillary Clinton nor national frontrunner Barack Obama is going to collect enough pledged delegates to reach the magic 2025 number needed to secure the nomination.

    So, when you really think about it, why the fuck does anybody really give a shit about tonight's primary? If Obama wins Pennsylvania (which is not going to happen), it still doesn't make it any more likely that he'll reach 2025. And even if Hillary wins by a huge margin (we're talking 25%) that'll just be a blip on closing Obama's lead. Why is everybody treating it like it's the moon landing?

    Well, for one thing, media people get paid for reporting on media-type events. And I think they get a bonus for making people stupider.

    And, for another thing, the candidates aren't really fighting for pledged delegates at this point. They're trying to make the superdelegates believe that they have the momentum on their respective side.

    About 300 of the superdelegates are still uncommitted, including [superdelegate former Colorado Gov. Roy] Romer, and many of them will pore over the finer details of today's results to gauge how each candidate might fare in the fall and, as a result, which one deserves the nomination.

    "I keep absorbing information," Romer said.

    Because, if there's one thing we haven't gotten these past four months, it's information. These superdelegates are just starving for information. Somebody, please, write a story about the election! Just a quick profile or something so we can have some idea, any idea of who these mysterious candidates are and whether or not they've ever made friends with an America hater.

    So, what kind of information are these superdelegates looking for?

    The spread: Clinton needs to win by at least 10 percentage points — the margin she posted over Obama in Ohio's March 4 primary — to show that she has not lost her touch in the industrial Rust Belt, several uncommitted superdelegates said.

    The demographics: A loss by a narrow margin would help Obama argue that he had overcome the two biggest setbacks of his candidacy: the controversies over his pastor's racially explosive sermons and his own remarks that economically "bitter" voters in small towns "cling" to guns, religion and anti-immigrant sentiment.

    The electability question: After a grueling, six-week campaign, Pennsylvania voters have the unusual job of picking between two bruised candidates.

    Let's not forget…

    The more time please question: The longer the race drags on, the more likely it is that other superdelegates will weigh in and make the nomination a fait accompli, thus saving all the rest of the superdelegates the need to make a bold choice and possibly piss off their constituent voters by endorsing a loser.


    Tags: Barack Obama, Goin' Dutch, Hillary Clinton, Pennsylvania

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.