Doctor Who, the English science-fiction TV show that's been around almost as long as King Arthur, has had ten doctors over the years. Like the presidential candidates, each one had a distinct personality, his own way of dealing with things and better teeth than most other English people. Naturally, this made us wonder which candidate would match up best as a sidekick for each version of the Time Lord. Here, then, is another time-wasting chart, specifically designed to enrage scarf nerds that relish this beloved, time-traveling limey:
Doctor Candidate Sidekick Why Doctor #1
Actor: William Hartnell
Description: That old dude.
John McCain McCain's Neocon interventionist foreign policy makes him able to deal with revisionist history traveling through time. Doctor #2
Actor: Patrick Troughton
Description: Moe Howard's twin.
Hillary Clinton She was already married to a stooge. Doctor #3
Actor: Jon Pertwee
Description: Gandalf with a haircut.
Barack Obama Large ears frighten Cybermen. Doctor #4
Actor: Tom Baker
Description: Guy with long scarf.
Barack Obama Much like Baker, he'll be the only person out of this group remembered years from now. Doctor #5
Actor: Peter Davison
Description: Taller, balding John Denver.
Hillary Clinton She becomes an expert at flying the T.A.R.D.I.S. through time while fixing her statements about her NAFTA support. Doctor #6
Actor: Colin Baker
Description: The one that dressed like a Jo Ann Fabrics exploded on his chest.
John McCain McCain's first-hand knowledge of the Jurassic Period. Doctor #7
Actor: Sylvester McCoy
Description: The one that sort of looks like Kolchak the Nightstalker.
Hillary Clinton Her stance on gay marriage enrages Daleks. Doctor #8
Actor: Paul McGann
Description: The awful one from that Fox movie.
John McCain Rupert Murdoch makes it so. Doctor #9
Actor: Christopher Eccleston
Description: The first one not to dress like a tool.
Barack Obama Doctor and Barack share "handsome guy tips" with the Elephant Man in Victorian England. Doctor #10
Actor: David Tennant
Description: The one that banged Sophia Myles.
Barack Obama Together, the Doctor and Barack explain to Dr. Who fans what it's like to be with a woman.
Tags: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John McCain