• Which Candidate Makes the Best Sidekick for Which Dr. Who?

    Doctor Who, the English science-fiction TV show that's been around almost as long as King Arthur, has had ten doctors over the years. Like the presidential candidates, each one had a distinct personality, his own way of dealing with things and better teeth than most other English people. Naturally, this made us wonder which candidate would match up best as a sidekick for each version of the Time Lord. Here, then, is another time-wasting chart, specifically designed to enrage scarf nerds that relish this beloved, time-traveling limey:

    Doctor Candidate Sidekick Why
    Doctor #1
    Actor: William Hartnell
    Description: That old dude.
    John McCain McCain's Neocon interventionist foreign policy makes him able to deal with revisionist history traveling through time.
    Doctor #2
    Actor: Patrick Troughton
    Description: Moe Howard's twin.
    Hillary Clinton She was already married to a stooge.
    Doctor #3
    Actor: Jon Pertwee
    Description: Gandalf with a haircut.
    Barack Obama Large ears frighten Cybermen.
    Doctor #4
    Actor: Tom Baker
    Description: Guy with long scarf.
    Barack Obama Much like Baker, he'll be the only person out of this group remembered years from now.
    Doctor #5
    Actor: Peter Davison
    Description: Taller, balding John Denver.
    Hillary Clinton She becomes an expert at flying the T.A.R.D.I.S. through time while fixing her statements about her NAFTA support.
    Doctor #6
    Actor: Colin Baker
    Description: The one that dressed like a Jo Ann Fabrics exploded on his chest.
    John McCain McCain's first-hand knowledge of the Jurassic Period.
    Doctor #7
    Actor: Sylvester McCoy
    Description: The one that sort of looks like Kolchak the Nightstalker.
    Hillary Clinton Her stance on gay marriage enrages Daleks.
    Doctor #8
    Actor: Paul McGann
    Description: The awful one from that Fox movie.
    John McCain Rupert Murdoch makes it so.
    Doctor #9
    Actor: Christopher Eccleston
    Description: The first one not to dress like a tool.
    Barack Obama Doctor and Barack share "handsome guy tips" with the Elephant Man in Victorian England.
    Doctor #10
    Actor: David Tennant
    Description: The one that banged Sophia Myles.
    Barack Obama Together, the Doctor and Barack explain to Dr. Who fans what it's like to be with a woman.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John McCain


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