RIP Steve Novick: America's Littlest, Most Lethal Candidate

While most short candidates for public office with hooks for hands try and distract attention from their appearance by buying big campaign buses or picking up hot young running mates, Oregon political activist and senatorial candidate has compensated for his 1950s Disney animated piratical frame for it by producing the best ad of the campaign season, by far:

Unfortunately, his loss in Tuesday's primary means that Oregon will likely have to wait another six years before it has a senator with nearly as good crocodile access.