• Catching Up With A Loser: James S. Gilmore III


    Join former United States Senate Pages Dylan and Ethan Ris as they bring you the dish on not just the presidential race but all the exciting triumphs and disgraces inside, outside, and below the Beltway!

    What Are They Doing Now? Last week we profiled the first man to drop out of the 2008 presidential race, Tom Vilsack, and we're not gonna lie — we were a little bored, too. But with him out of the way, who remembers the second presidential contender to withdraw from the contest?

    No, it wasn't Stephen Colbert; he lasted through November '07. It was — forehead smacker alert! — former Virginia Governor James S. Gilmore III! (If you can prove you knew this, you win the lieutenant governorship of your home state!)

    To outsiders, Gilmore III had it all: The racial diplomacy of his predecessor George Allen, the fine art patronage of Rudy Giuliani… even the name recognition of U.S. Rep. Earl Blumenauer (D-OR)! And yet despite these advantages, Gilmore III was out of the race by July.

    But if this loser harbored any visions of lazing around the mansion all summer, he obviously hadn't consulted his wife (also named James S. Gilmore III.) Lo and behold, she has him right back out on the campaign trail where he belongs, and this time it's for the U.S. Senate seat being vacated by the venerable statesman John "Mark" Warner!

    Opposing Gilmore III is fellow ex-governor Mark "John" Warner, who is campaigning on a pledge to run for president within the next decade. To counter this, we expect Gilmore III to rile up the base by proposing the legalization of cloning for the exact window of time needed to do Ronald Reagan, after which it will become a felony. If only "Macaca" Allen had thought of that!

    Tags: Catching Up With a Loser, Congressional Confidential, George Allen, Jim Gilmore, Mark Warner, Ronald Reagan, Rudy Giuliani, Stephen Colbert, Tom Vilsack


About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.