Tuesday, June 14th — When our dear chum, Henry Kravis sent out invitations for a tony $28,500-a-plate shindig at the 21 Club, all to raise money for John "100 More Years" McCain, we Billionaires were thrilled! It was a perfect opportunity to launch our new "Lobbyists for McCain" campaign. (Of course, all Billionaires For Bush are registered lobbyists. It's a birthright, like being a Halliburton board member.)
Undeterred by the purple-shirted rabble chanting from their free-speech pen across the street, our Billionaire cohort followed McCain into the club shortly after 6:30pm. Thurston Howell IV, dashing in yacht attire complete with captain's hat, strode into the cocktail area, sampling a pig-in-a-blanket from a passing tray. "I'm sure these appetizers are meant to be ironic," he commented to a fellow billionaire. "I'm looking forward to the Congressional Pork Medallions and Chickenhawk Cordon-Bleu, myself." Overheard elsewhere: "I heard Cindy McCain's Ahi Tuna was on the menu, but they pulled it when they found out it was lifted from the Food Network website."
Meanwhile, trouble was brewing outside. The SEIU and Working Families Party demonstrators had grown more vocal, proclaiming that billionaires like buyout kingpin Henry Kravis should NOT pay a lower tax rate than their servants. Preposterous! The First Amendment is such a bother. The Billionaires rushed outside to defend McCain and his pet fundraiser Kravis, telling protesters, "Buy your own president!"
Before long, it was time to regroup and head for the St. Regis Hotel for the after party–only for fundraisers who have raised $100,000 or more for McCain's campaign. Secret Service and New York's Finest waved us a fond farewell as we drove off in our stretch Hummer, leaving a chant of "We're here, we're rich, get used to it!" floating on the breeze of the hot summer night.
Tags: Billionaires for Bush, John McCain