Sometimes it seems like everything we hear from our politicians fills us with existential despair — and that's just the Obama campaign. But as I show in my new book Apocalypse How, the hastening end-times shouldn't be grounds for pessimism. Rather, we can choose to look at our soon-to-be-ended-world as half-unfucked, teeming with time, opportunities, and most likely, cockroaches. Protein-rich, delightfully crunchy cockroaches. See? It's all in how you look at it through the jaggedly carved eyehole in your bunker. So take a load off, put a smile on (and ideally, some combination of lead and Kevlar), and enjoy this harbinger of your exciting new life to come.
WHY THAT'S A SIGN: Emotionally frazzled from quadrennial Baldwin-presidential-departure threats, America gives up and puts all future Presidential elections in the hands of the Baldwin brothers. Alec, Daniel, and Billy demur, saying they're too busy with acting gigs.
WHAT TO EXPECT: Mad with power, born-again Christian Stephen calls Jesus down to annihilate a world that would let him be fired on Celebrity Apprentice. Donald Trump is first to perish, in flames "so elegant, they have incinerated princes and sultans."
WHY THAT'S GREAT NEWS: Stephen, Kirk Cameron and Gary Busey all Raptured and set to star in new show The Surreal Afterlife.
Tags: Rob Kutner, The Daily Show, This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse