Iran Rehearses for Third World War

The good news today is we've moved one step closer to World War III, as Iran has decided that it's time to start taunting the world with its rocket technology.

However, Iranian President Ahmadinejad is denying rumors that we're all gonna die horrible, fiery deaths…

The report comes less than a day after Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad dismissed fears that Israel and the United States could be preparing to attack his country, calling the possibility a "funny joke."

Hahahahahaha!

"I assure you that there won't be any war in the future," Ahmadinejad told a news conference Tuesday during a visit to Malaysia for a summit of developing Muslim nations.

You know what? I believe him. I think that in the future there won't be any war. Mostly likely because all the humans will be dead and replaced with super-intelligent highly-evolved squid people. And squid are so peacful. And delicious.