Sometimes it seems like everything we hear from our politicians fills us with existential despair — and that’s just the Obama campaign. But as I show in my new book Apocalypse How, the hastening end-times shouldn't be grounds for pessimism. Rather, we can choose to look at our soon-to-be-ended-world as half-unf@%#ed, teeming with time, opportunities, and most likely, cockroaches. Protein-rich, delightfully crunchy cockroaches. See? It's all in how you look at it through the jaggedly carved eyehole in your bunker. So take a load off, put a smile on (and ideally, some combination of lead and Kevlar), and enjoy this harbinger of your exciting new life to come:
SIGN: John McCain jokes that increased U.S. exports of cigarettes to Iran "[might be] a way of killing them."
WHY THAT'S A SIGN: With "Operation Enduring Wet Cough" officially revealed, Iran stops all cigarette imports, making it seem less "cool" — and therefore even more desperate to unleash its nuclear program.
WHAT TO EXPECT: Since the rest of the world is now radioactive, Iran is permanently out of cigarettes. Iranians put on hundreds of pounds. Ahmadinejad forced to have his trademark "leisure suit" altered over and over again.
WHY THAT'S GREAT NEWS: With no one left to sell oil to, the primary mode of transportation is ecologically clean-burning flying carpets.
Tags: International Affairs, John McCain, Rob Kutner, The Daily Show, This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse